Girls: why should I accept a girl who has been treated like garbage by her ex? Whats in it for me?

Why should i accept a girl who has been treated like garbage. Why should i give her the love she never had. Why should i be the best she ever had?

Whats in it for me?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • If it's only about sex then leave the girl the hell alone. She made a bad choice with her ex and it sounds like she's going to make one with you. She's improving herself for ending that relationship. And nobody is perfect you probably made mistakes in the past yourself. If its only your needs and sex she's been though enough don't be another jack ass to her

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    • I know i can give them the love them seek. But what do i get in return for my hard work?

      by the way the girl should have gotten it right in the first place.

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    • I sense jealousy. why are you expected to treat her so great when her last guy didn't and she accepted him anyway. It kind of makes you seem less worthy if you have to try harder to get the same level of respect. Or am I way off?

    • @Manbot I think you are kind of off. This guy needs to understand that everyone makes mistakes that is how you learn and nobody gets it right the first time. Not everyone carries baggage and treats their next like crap because of someone else if they know whats good for them

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What Girls Said 9

  • That really isn't nice to say at all... nobody deserves people being nasty to do them... i think she would be better off without you too, from what you have said below treathing this girl like she can be "perfect" i would honestly save her more pain so id stay well away.

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    • But what do i get in return for my hard work?

  • Maybe because her ex was a jerk to her. Not because she was a bad person.
    You don't deserve her if you're only thinking of your needs and don't care about her needs.

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    • I think she is a bad person for picking the jerk in the first place.

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    • but if you only want to enter into a relationship with a woman to only see what you can personally get out of it, you're not being selfish or bad, right? You're just being assertive?
      According to your logic, you being selfish in a relationship does not make you a bad person at all-it's that girl who is a bad person because in the past she dated a guy who did not respect her. Yet you didn't even say one thing about her personality or her behavior that is negative other than that she happened to date a guy who was a jerk, just her ex bf's personality or behavior you mentioned.
      If a girl has dated a jerk in the past, how does that show she will forever make bad decisions in life?
      That's like someone forgetting their wallet once and then thinking, "oh, this means I'll forever be clueless regarding my finances in the future." You seem like a guy with extremely high standards.

    • But what do i get in return for my hard work?

  • dude, if you aren't feeling it... don't enter a relationship with her.

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    • But i dont want to give up sex opportunity.

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    • nope. weigh your options.

    • "But i dont want to give up sex opportunity." This makes you a jerk so you how can you judge her for picking them when you clearly don't want to be in a relationship with her because of her lack of better judgment but you want to use her for sex.

  • People that mature and learn from their mistakes and are not burdened by their past can move on and be open to receiving love. These days most people have been in a relationship with someone, that broke their heart or treated them bad. Are they not worthy of being loved because of what someone else did? The only thing that is in it for you is whatever the both of you put in to the relationship. Just because she has been hurt does no mean she does not deserve to be loved.

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    • Its just hard to love a girl who makes mistakes

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    • You keep asking the same shit over and over all I can tell you is hopefully you get what you give in return and that she has learned from her mistakes and will love you more for not being like other guys and showing her something different but I'm starting to think that you are no better then the last jerk if you are going to take advantage of someone who has been hurt for sex.

    • Thank You! Finally a reasonable answer from somebody!

  • Apparently nothing relationships aren't about getting something out of it

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    • Then what are relationships about?

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    • You don't know its the wrong one until your in the relationship... And of course there is you would get appreciated... treated with respect love etc

    • But what do i get in return for my hard work?

  • Possible sex

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    • Very true. Its a sex opportunity.

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    • That the girls have a past and are stupid enough to mention it without me asking.

    • Um everyone has a past and you're no exception. Wouldn't you want to know about it before things got serious?

  • Does there always have to be something for you?

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    • Yes there always has to be something i recieve for my hard work. I dont want the role of repairing girls who have been treated like crap. Im not in the damaged goods business.

    • You sound damaged to everyone right now. She made a mistake with the last and you will be another. Your not doing any hard work thats benifiting her. I hope she turns you down

    • But what do i get in return for my hard work?

  • you seem like a jackass, and I think it is she who woud not get anything with you. so do not get togethe with her if your only going to hurt her.

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    • But what do i get in return for my hard work?

    • forget it, if you do not get it, then I think you are also stupid.

  • I'm not really sure where you are coming from with your question. Sorta sounds like you think you're too good for damaged goods. In which case you shouldn't accept her and she should find someone that won't feel superior and looking to get something out of it. A relationship isn't about getting something out of it, it's about building something. And if you're just accepting a hook up I wouldn't because it sounds like this girl needs more, and should find a guy that's not looking for personal gain out of the arrangement.

    She will keep looking for the love she thinks she deserves until she realizes she needs more, and you don't seem like the person that will be able to do that for her. Maybe i'm completely wrong here about u.. but from your question phrasing that's the jist I got.

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    • I know i can give the damaged goods the love they deserve. But why should i? What do i get in return for my work?

    • I think you're mistaking love with sex. Sex and love are two different things. You want to boink this chick, but don't want her to go all crazy on you afterwards because she's got baggage. Do yourself a favor and find someone that doesn't to have sex with, and isn't looking for anything serious. Less hassle for you, and it'll probably be more fun. You won't have to worry about your "work" being wasted. Maybe if you're really lucky you'll get a present for all your hard "work".

    • But what do i get in return for my hard work?

What Guys Said 9

  • Well, you're in your 30's and clearly an asshole so "damaged" girls are probably gonna be your only option. So what's in it for you? Not being alone and maybe you'll have something better to do than be spiteful on the internet.

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    • But what do i get in return for my hard work?

    • Well if you work reeeeally hard, you might get some reading comprehension skills.

    • Not being alone is not enough. Im usually with somebody but unhappy.

  • Dude, this is the coldest shit I've ever read, maybe I am looking at it wrong.

    What's in it for you is love? Some people go through shit and some don't, it does Not make them any less of a person.

    If you are implying that because she has had a rough past that she doesn't deserve you, then on the contrary dude, you far from deserve her and she does in fact deserve the best

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    • Really? Really? You must like leftovers and damaged goods. Im too good for that shit.

    • Not only did you just objectify women, but you made an ass out of yourself. Damn dude... faith for human kind lost

    • But what do i get in return for my hard work?

  • well you dont know nothing of relationships the mans part is to lay his life down because what you're saying is outright selfish.

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    • Sound like you want me to. accept any damaged goods without having standards, right?

    • If you so choose a relationship its not about what you get out of it at all if you realize this then you will have a lasting one.

    • But what do i get in return for my hard work?

  • You know what you really sound like right now? A guy who has only sex with maybe one or two girls and you have not yet fully grasped the value of a relationship or the concept that they feel just as much as you.
    If you do not want to be beneficial to her self-esteem then A) play the game and trick her into having sex with you just like every other guys try for a random chance of success or B) walk away.
    It is that simple.

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  • don't worry, the best she ever had will be someone she met at a rock concert and fucked in the bathroom... as they say "no one marries their best sex."

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    • Why dont people marry their best sex?

    • Because the best sex for a woman is usually someone their hooking up with who'd laugh at the idea of being a couple with her.

    • But what do i get in return for my hard work?

  • Is this a joke and/or some kind of trolling?

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    • Methinks it's trolling

    • Not trolling, this is my role in life and i dont like it. Would you please answer my question?

    • But what do i get in return for my hard work?

  • What hard work?

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    • My role of dating damaged goods is frustrating and tiring. Its tiring that always get damaged girls to mentally repair. Its also draining that damaged girls are all i get in life.

      What do i get for taking on a girl with baggage? What is in it for me?

  • You shouldn't. Move on. For her sake

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  • Sounds like you can relate to them. With your attitude and perspective, certainly you've been mistreated and experienced your share of bad relationships, yes?

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    • Not really mistreated. My case is that every woman I date has been treated bad by her Ex. My role is has seemed to be to repair these damaged girls. I get the leftovers not the firsts. I hate my role in the dating game.

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    • I get invited to a lot of college parties so thats where i meet the younger ones. Yes, i look like im 23 according to people at parties. And the older women i meet are friends of girlfriends i know.

    • I assume the women you've met are party girls or socialites, yes? If yes, this may partially explain why you have consistently met newly hurt or damaged women. Their lifestyles are at variance to lifestyles of "standard" relationships. Thus, the guys they tend to meet are party guys, and, as a result, they often end up being mistreated and hurt.

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