I broke up with a girl a month ago, I want to contact her but I'm worried?

Ok so basically we broke up because she got accepted in a police training facility that needed (and still needs) her full attention, she even lives on site. Another reason was because we just really were into the relationship for a month, before that there was another month of shy dates and texting. Finally, I am leaving the country next month but before that I'm going to travel a bit around, so it's like I'm gone already.

However we cut off all contact, she initiated the break up but I was the one to mention NO CONTACT at all so we move on quick and her performance during her rigorous training is not affected. I never broke all contact with an ex before, no matter how short the relationship was. I really feel the need to keep connections with the people that have been part of my life. I DON'T want to get her back, and I don't even want to message her and pretend to be a friend, hell I'm going on the other side of the world it would be pointless. But I still want a connection, because it matters to me, and maybe one day we'll cross roads again as former friends/acquaintances. Most of you won't probably believe me when I say that I just want a connection or will see more than there is.

Now, I have NO IDEA how she took the break up, she did initiated it but was very sweet and mature. I moved on in about a week, but I don't know if she did! I really want to text or call her to agree on accepting each other on Facebook or something, but I would feel so terribly bad if I fucked up her 6 months training by bringing back unwanted memories, she was a really great girl.

Should I text/call her? I'd gladly call her later, but my local number will be resigned in a few days, so she might not answer a stranger's number. I would also gladly invite her on Facebook later too, but, and you might think this is silly, I don't have her full name. That was kind of our security to stay short-term because of me potentially moving away as I am going to now.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You seem torn between making contact and avoiding it. I do agree with your insight that her training should not be disturbed, and I do believe that it would be in your best interest to set this as your main priority for now.

    Rereading your story, I sense a bit of conflict with you wanting to be with her or not. You state that you do not want to get back together with her, but it seems to drive you insane not having any kind of contact. If you don't ever want to get back with her, aren't things fine the way they are?

    If you have regrets about how you ended things, I believe you should be honest about it to her. If the final day of her training isn't far away or if she doesn't have some kind of final exam coming up, talking to her about it might not be the worst option.

    You could also just leave things in her hands; texting her or writing her a letter that gets delivered after her training ends in which you state your FB page or something, hoping she did well and if she wants she can add you.

    But above all; try to breathe first. Let your mind settle down for a bit before taking any action, you sound stressed and that is not the way you want to go about making decisions :). Good luck!

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    • Never considered writing a letter to be delivered later on to her. Thank you, I'll consider that too, this seems perfect.

    • It's what I personally would have done :). I hope my suggestion works out for you guys!

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  • You made the big deal about no contact. Going back on that now makes you look like a dipstick. Don't do it.

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    • I think you are right, this is extremely selfish of me. In fact, I KNOW you are right. I just did something very very bad, I'm terrible I hate myself. I stalked, I'm a f*cking piece of sh*t. I have what I wanted, I have a connection, but I also saw many hints showing she was still not over it 5 days ago. So yes, I will keep my word and avoid contact until she finishes training. In fact, until then I might grow less stupid and I'll be able to control myself and spare her my stupidity.

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