Breaking up with a suicidal boyfriend. Pls read I REALLY need help!! Please! Its urgent?

Okay recently I asked a question. please read that first!!
please read www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1169660-i-want-to-break-up-but-i-know-he-will-kill-himself-if-i-do
and then I decided to tell him that I am not happy with him anymore... at first he tried to convince me to stay by saying "We can keep trying.. dont give up"... Then I told him that after what happened last week (mentioned in question).. i don't feel anything now... and But I still love you (I don't think I don't) and I can't live WITHOUT you.. but I can't stay in this relationship either.. i want to be friends (I really do)
He cries.. says "Either stay with me or break up with me because I know you can live without me now"... Then I told why I was unhappy etc etc..
and we ALMOST break up and I left..
When I went home.. he just texted me.."pls just talk to me.. about anything but please"...
I texted him around 7 pm.. he was like really sad.. i told him that I want to try again... give this relationship another shot... aand "Will you be my boyfriend" etc etc...
Then for a while everything went well... but aftr an hour or so.. he told me he was afraid now... i asked why? He said "I AM hppy that you want to give it another shot but now you've pulld me back" I asked how..
then.
he tells me... that "I am really sad that i've hurt you so much, so I decided to kill myself and I was really close... i had already planned everything... how things were gpnna go... burnt diary pages... started removing stuff from phone... Nd wrote a note.. But I can't do that now because you've pulled me back... and now I am afraid I'll again hurt you... i was going to finally fix all the problems"...
I mean 2nd sucide attempt in this week!!!
And it was my birthday next day (just 2 hrs were left actually)
we tried again... just 1 day!! And we are fighting again!
How do I break up? I really care about him and dont want him to hurt himself!!


0|0
64

Most Helpful Girl

  • You're probably gonna really hate me for saying this... but I really think you need to end this. If a relationship is causing you THIS much stress, it's not really worth it.
    If he is using suicide as a threat to get you to stay, that is emotional manipulation and is abuse. He seems too emotionally damaged to realize that he's doing something incredibly wrong here, so maybe don't mention that to him. If he hears that, it might just push him more towards suicide.
    I think that a good start to approaching this is to tell him that it's beneficial for him if you two break up. Tell him that he deserves someone who won't have any doubts in their relationship with him, who won't think of ending things and who will always love him romantically.
    BUT, I also think he needs to get some professional help. FAST. If he is THAT unstable, he needs help from a PROFESSIONAL. He can't put it on one (not professionally trained) person to help him through this much emotional damage, and you can't put that responsibility on yourself.
    In a relationship, both partners need to be able to support each other. It sounds like he's unable to do that right now. You can tell him that you'll still be his friend, but that you can't be his romantic partner, and that you can't be held responsible for healing him. You can still support him, but you can't be his crutch.
    I really hope things work out well for you, hun. I really do.

    0|1
    0|0

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • U don't need help actually he needs help... contact the police station & get him a medical assistance..

    0|0
    0|0
  • This clown will drag you down. Tell him to talk to someone or else he will ruin your life. If he agrees, stay around a little while, if not, bye bye.

    0|0
    0|0
  • He's being a drama queen. If he's really going to kill himself over a failing relationship, then he doesn't value life and all the opportunities that it may hold. You don't need to surround yourself with such negativity.

    1|0
    0|0
  • You should go to the police or get him some medical assistance. This will hurt you more in the length. And it's not healthy for a guy to be so depressed. He need to see a psychiatrist and a doctor to help him with depression or what ever he suffers from. Guys like that tend to have been through a lot at home. Maybe even abused when younger. Guys like him should be put in a mental hospital for a period until he feels better. So he can function in society, people that has this really negative attitude to life are like cancer, sorry to say this but if you can't controll yourself and then draw everyone around you down with you, then I think he'll do everyone a favor to kill himself. If you're not capable of taking care of yourself then how will you be able to take care of a girlfriend or a family.

    0|0
    0|0
    • The second to last sentence that you wrote is terrible. You've obviously never lost anyone you cared for to a suicide. No body wants him to die. He will not be doing anyone a favor. He needs to look for professional help and if he kills himself then he will create a deep wound in everyone's (who cares for him) lives.

    • I already lost three close friends to suicide, so I know what I'm talking about. I've been suicidal myself also. All wounds will heal with time btw.

What Girls Said 5

  • if you are close to any of his family, consult them because if they really see you as a good girlfriend, they will support you in breaking up if they see how truly unhappy you are and being family, they can keep a close eye on your ex and make sure he is okay and get help for him.

    0|0
    0|0
  • He is a toxic person.

    You have two choices.

    Break up and never talk to him again

    or

    Stay and suffer.

    There is no middle ground. He will maintain his hold on you. I recommend leaving and no longer responding to him.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'd contact suicide lines or something and ask them how to go about this.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think you should break up with him as soon as you can. But be sure to tell him that you understand that he is going through things and even if you din't want to, tell him you care about him and will be there for him. That wouldn't be lying because if you are worried about him you obviously care. Make sure he knows that.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Him wanting to kill himself is not your problem. He's using it as an excuse to keep you on the line. He wants to kill himself over a breakup? Let him. Not your problem. Tell his parents that he's saying these things so that he can get help. The rest is not your problem. Move on with YOUR life and live it to the fullest. Don't let someone manipulate or mentally abuse you into staying.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I just saw someone else mention mental abuse and manipulation. I wrote my answer before seeing this. We see it- you need to see this for what it is, too.

Loading... ;