please read www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1169660-i-want-to-break-up-but-i-know-he-will-kill-himself-if-i-do
and then I decided to tell him that I am not happy with him anymore... at first he tried to convince me to stay by saying "We can keep trying.. dont give up"... Then I told him that after what happened last week (mentioned in question).. i don't feel anything now... and But I still love you (I don't think I don't) and I can't live WITHOUT you.. but I can't stay in this relationship either.. i want to be friends (I really do)
He cries.. says "Either stay with me or break up with me because I know you can live without me now"... Then I told why I was unhappy etc etc..
and we ALMOST break up and I left..
When I went home.. he just texted me.."pls just talk to me.. about anything but please"...
I texted him around 7 pm.. he was like really sad.. i told him that I want to try again... give this relationship another shot... aand "Will you be my boyfriend" etc etc...
Then for a while everything went well... but aftr an hour or so.. he told me he was afraid now... i asked why? He said "I AM hppy that you want to give it another shot but now you've pulld me back" I asked how..
he tells me... that "I am really sad that i've hurt you so much, so I decided to kill myself and I was really close... i had already planned everything... how things were gpnna go... burnt diary pages... started removing stuff from phone... Nd wrote a note.. But I can't do that now because you've pulled me back... and now I am afraid I'll again hurt you... i was going to finally fix all the problems"...
I mean 2nd sucide attempt in this week!!!
And it was my birthday next day (just 2 hrs were left actually)
we tried again... just 1 day!! And we are fighting again!
How do I break up? I really care about him and dont want him to hurt himself!!
Most Helpful Guy
You should go to the police or get him some medical assistance. This will hurt you more in the length. And it's not healthy for a guy to be so depressed. He need to see a psychiatrist and a doctor to help him with depression or what ever he suffers from. Guys like that tend to have been through a lot at home. Maybe even abused when younger. Guys like him should be put in a mental hospital for a period until he feels better. So he can function in society, people that has this really negative attitude to life are like cancer, sorry to say this but if you can't controll yourself and then draw everyone around you down with you, then I think he'll do everyone a favor to kill himself. If you're not capable of taking care of yourself then how will you be able to take care of a girlfriend or a family.
Most Helpful Girl
You're probably gonna really hate me for saying this... but I really think you need to end this. If a relationship is causing you THIS much stress, it's not really worth it.
If he is using suicide as a threat to get you to stay, that is emotional manipulation and is abuse. He seems too emotionally damaged to realize that he's doing something incredibly wrong here, so maybe don't mention that to him. If he hears that, it might just push him more towards suicide.
I think that a good start to approaching this is to tell him that it's beneficial for him if you two break up. Tell him that he deserves someone who won't have any doubts in their relationship with him, who won't think of ending things and who will always love him romantically.
BUT, I also think he needs to get some professional help. FAST. If he is THAT unstable, he needs help from a PROFESSIONAL. He can't put it on one (not professionally trained) person to help him through this much emotional damage, and you can't put that responsibility on yourself.
In a relationship, both partners need to be able to support each other. It sounds like he's unable to do that right now. You can tell him that you'll still be his friend, but that you can't be his romantic partner, and that you can't be held responsible for healing him. You can still support him, but you can't be his crutch.
I really hope things work out well for you, hun. I really do.