Is my boyfriend cheating on me? Help!

I discussed with my boyfriend that I want to leave the state after college. That maybe be 6 or 5 years from now. So he said " I have to tell you this, I think its a waste (us being together) because we both know whats gonna happen"

I was kinda hurt about that so I talked to him about it and he said "I dont wanna wait around for you to leave me" "I can't do a long distance relationship" "I dont want to wait around for a maybe you have to do whats best for you"

This threw me off how could something that Im THINKING about doing 6 YEARS from now even be a "lets break up" He told "I dont wanna break up" But the way he talking says other wise. If he really loved me he would have never said that.

He told me to call him after I got off work I did. He picked and told me he would call me back after he left his friends house this was 3 hours ago. He still has not called me, I take it as he does not care and is looking for a reason to break up. To turn something so small into this is crazy. Im gonna break up with him because I dont want to be with someone who can let me go so easy off of a MAYBE or it MIGHT happen.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Hey there.. So basically you just scared him. I think you shouldn't bring things like that up so early. How early are you guys into the relationship? You'll want to enjoy things and take things slow and of course cross the bridge when you get there. Don't start mentioning future plans right now.. Just have fun with it..

    But yeah, I think you scared him and now he's probably feeling really sad about the thought of you leaving him.

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What Guys Said 1

  • why are you planning for 5-6 years ahead? never plan anything with your SO that is further away than the length of time you've been dating.

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    • Thats just something I always wanted to do. I would rather do it after college but before is fine too.

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    • I never thought about that. Nor did I think it would be a big deal.

    • the added expectations on top the regular things that come with a relationship tend to cause more trouble after a little while, even though when its in the moment + a couple weeks into it that it might feel right.

What Girls Said 2

  • I agree, that makes no sense, especially when it's such a long time away and not even decided on.

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    • Right, It makes no sense. Its so far away I dont even know why it would be a conversation. If he told me that I would say ok and keep it moving. Talk about it when the time comes.

    • Yep! While on one hand I agree with ambientfields about not planning something longer than your relationship, I forgot how he worded it, I also don't think there's anything wrong with a gameplan. You said this is something you've always wanted to do, so I don't think there's anything wrong with mentioning that to your bf. Maybe it did cause him to panic a bit, and he's avoiding u for now, trying to gather his thoughts. But I don't think he should allow that to end a perfectly fine relationship. Who knows where you'll be in 5 years?

    • I agree

  • Wjy would you automatically assume he's cheating? This is just my assumption: he may want to eventually marry you, and if you mobed away after school, it w o uld seem like time wasted. I would never spend 6+ years woth someone only to have them go away for x amount of time.

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    • Yeah it doesn't seem like he's cheating to me. I wouldn't be surprised if he was avoiding her though, just because he's upset about her decision.

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