Was I wrong in how I dumped him? Even though he was a douche?

I was seeing a guy who used me for sex. We didn't have sex but it was obvious that was what he was after.

He was a stereotypical player- had lines and was very flirtatious. Came on really strong in the beginning and made me feel amazing. Talked of a relationship and serious dating.

Then he began wanting to put off commitment and he gave me much less attention. Barely one word replies to my texts, if anything. Did nothing for me on my birthday when he claimed to be really serious about me.

I texted him to ask if I could call and he didn't reply so I sent him a message telling him that he was confusing me. He would say how awesome I was but not follow up with his actions. I just said he was confusing and that I wanted him to explain what was going on.

I made sure not to be accusatory.

I called him the next day and he was very defensive and manipulative. Saying obviously fake things. Like while he was angry telling me that I'm a good person..

He accidentally admitted he would see another girl so I said we wouldn't work, because I don't date like him. I like to see one person at a time.

He was really proud and he said he didn't lead me on. I was shocked by that.

I didn't know how to react right away so I texted him later telling him that I was done and wanted to cut contact with him, and that he really did lead me on.

I made sure not to accuse him of just wanting sex-even though his touchiness and obvious frustration when I would say I wasn't ready made that pretty clear.

He was taking pretty mean shots at me and refused to apologize or admit he did anything wrong. He said i was the jerk who mistreated him.

I kept composure. But is it ok to break up via texting? I also defriended him and blocked him on every type of communication- like Facebook and snapchat and all that.

I didn't like the idea of doing the majority of talking over text but he was really manipulative when we talked briefly and I didn't want him to sway me.


Most Helpful Girl

  • you are a very smart girl. I am proud of you. Many women your age do not know how to properly date and it seems like you have it down. Shoot many women my age and older still dont even know how to properly date.

    a lot of women dont understand that the whole point of dating is to find your match. For me, my match is a guy who can love and respect me, believes in marriage, shares same religious beliefs, sexually compatible and so on... We are actually engaged now.

    Many women for some reason think that they are suppose to make a guy like you/stay with you so they will do everything they can think of to please the guy. Having that attitude towards dating will always end in heartbreak. When I was younger that used to be me. I was just so excited about having the boyfriend that i failed to realise that there are a lot more factors that go into developing a longterm relationship with someone.

    When you realise that a guy is not a match for you, you are supposed to move on and meet someone else. Thats how you weed out the duds and narrow down your search. Knowing exactly what you are looking for is a sure way to find it.

    • Thank you. Couldn't have put it better, especially the last paragraph.

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What Guys Said 2

  • U did right to dump him if he only wanted sex. He'll get over it he obviously had no real feelings so he'll move to his next target and win some and lose some. Guys like him gives us a bad name so the more girls that don't give them what they want then that's better for us all. X

  • Since you weren't going out, whatever.

    You considered going out, he eased off, you cut him off, rightly I think. Life goes on.


What Girls Said 3

  • You weren't wrong you made the right choice. I can't stand guys who want a relationship but are to afraid to commit. My ex was just like that, he was a player though but he was good with making me feel special but when it came to showing actions and commitment that's where he messed up. You did the right thing to dump him if he only wanted to use you for sex. He'll get over it just give him sometime. Seems like to me he probably just wanted to string you along and just use you. The best way to break up with someone is face to face that's how I do it. My ex broke up with me face to face about 7 months ago, but since then we have not talked. Your partner is supposed to respect you, and treat you right, and put in commitment. Sounds like to me he isn't ready for a relationship and just likes to string girls along and play with there feelings, I cannot stand guys like that. Just let him be and do not chase him and do not take him because you will regret it, I was in a situation like that before. My ex led me on and played with my feelings. You don't deserve him trust me you deserve better.

    • Thank you. I would have been respectful and done it in person but he lives far away. I tried to be classy. Good riddance!

    • Show All
    • Same here lol. I have no idea what I was doing. But at least we are rid of both of them!

    • I don't know what I saw in him when I dated him I must've been sleeping walking lol.

  • I don't think it was completely terrible that you did it over text, but the best way to breakup varies from relationship and the circumstances. I don't think it was bad you did it over text especially since you weren't able to get ahold of him anyway. If you aren't able to get ahold of someone, how in the hell are you supposed to make plans to meet each other face to face? I wouldn't worry about this. Its all about circumstances.

  • tou did every thing right, you di keep you're cool. He was mean, and you just said you do not want to bet with him and that is you're right.


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