How do you get over someone you still have feelings for, your first love?

My ex and I were in a long distant relationship. He broke up with me three months ago because he met another girl... A month later he told me he still had feelings for me even though he was still dating her, it was just hard for him because he lived in Europe and me in the US?

How do I get over someone when the situation doesn't work out, for us being in a long distant relationship. I already deleted his contact and stopped talking to him. I burned all his letters and deleted pictures of us. I started to slowly talk to other guys, I went out with friends and I've been focusing on myself, but I still find him in my mind, and sometimes still cry over our break up. He was my first love. How can I get over him? When will I be able to let go of my feelings



Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, you never really forget your first love, but eventually you find someone that makes you feel not the same way they made you feel, not necessarily better or worse, but the way they make you feel replaces the hole that the other person left. In order to get over him, you have to desire to get over him. Pick up a hobby (music and computers are my hobby), that'll keep your mind off him, and the longer time goes by the less you'll think about him. Eventually you reach a point (like I did with my ex-gf), where when you do think about them, you think about the fun times you had together and it doesn't make you sad.

    • Thanks you :))
      Even though I got rid of all his physical things, I still miss him in my mind and I'm scared of letting go of him. Hopefully I can have the strength soon to just let go soon

Most Helpful Girl

  • Three years ago a man from Egypt found me on Fb and we started a whirlwind romance. After getting to know him better, I then flew off to the magical land of Cairo where I stayed for 30 days. Everything went so well that after returning, I flew back over, where we ended up tying the knot. I resided there for awhile, however, I am back in the states. For over two years, we have had many ups and downs, break ups and make ups and much of it my fault. I haven't returned to him because of all the problems that have worsened over in the Middle east and it has caused much strife in our life. I am unsure if God wants me to go back...
    We are currently broke up and this time, I think it is best we remain as such. We have tried everything under the sun to keep our bond binding, but nothing seems to work.
    Keeping busy, working, socializing with friends and family are a big help to move on and try and forget. And my life on GAG is a big part of my life now. You were right 'Deleting and burning' the past, for this is your way of saying goodbye, closing that chapter of your life with a closure. And absolutely No contact is the best. Every time one of us decides to contact the other out of the blue, it starts up again but always ends up to be a Full circle pattern and with this, more pain, heartaches and beginning the beguine all over again.
    What you have done is everything humanly possible to forget him. LDR is one of the hardest kinds to have and without Both partners working endlessly on either end, it will go dead in the water. However, time and licking your war wounds after the war of the Roses is the Healer that is truly needed to seal the kiss forever. But even so, the memories are never really Deleted, they do still Burn in your memory, even after the lovin'...
    Good luck, God bless. xx

    • Thanks you for your advice. It feels good to have some one who understands what it's like to be in a LDR.
      It's just extra hard to get over, because the real reason why this has to end is because of the distance... and nothing to do with us. And it's just unfair because I was hoping now that he has a new girl, he would see me as a friend, but he told me he still liked me, which just confuses me even more...

      Even though I deleted all the physical things of his from my life, I keep thinking of all the good times we had just talking and having that mental connection... I miss that. I also keep thinking of the possibilities in the future. Maybe it'll be possible for something to happen and be together. Maybe because we are so young, this or that could happen.

      I know this is toxic and I should stop thinking about it. I really wish it could have lasted, because I really cared for him.

      Thank you really for your story, and I hope you can find happiness in the future as well.

    • You're so very welcome and thank you as well... I am doing fine, just know that if I really wanted to, I could jump on that plane tomorrow, but God is saying No right now... Yes, I do understand LDR and if you feel there is no hope of making it work, and now with a newbie in the pix, it is hard to be friends. She may be closer to his home but he probably still has feelings for you. Yes, you can delete all you want and burn as well, but it will burn in in your memory all the good times... However, the healing does happen, but along with this, it is an experience that you never forget Nor really forget them either... xx

    • write me x

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What Guys Said 1

  • You're doing very well in focusing on other stuff in your life.

    This will just take time, emotions don't disappear so quickly. So it will take some time, but you will definitely be able to eventually move on, so keep enjoying your life!

    • Thanks you, defiantly time has made my emotions for him go bit by bit

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