What should I do? Staying friends with ex?

I was seeing a guy for a few months and he broke up with me this weekend because he's going to be busy and going away a lot and doesn't feel like he can be a good boyfriend to me if he's not around plus he's been really busy with work (I've only been able to see him once a week as it is). He says still wants to hang out, go out together, etc. and that he still cares a lot about me but I don't know how to act now. Whenever I'm around him I want to cuddle with him and act like we're together and even though he said he's fine with that I feel like maybe that would be me letting him take advantage of me. At the same time I don't know if I can just be friends with him even though he's a great guy and a really great friend that I definitely don't want to lose contact with.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Many times over just because it is "Over," doesn't mean a couple can't Break Up then Make Up and that is is Goodbye forever, my love. However, with an "EX" that Still Marks their X in your soft spot, it can lead to 'Many times over' a Friends with benefits' factor... He wants his cake and eat it too.
    He Obviously still wants you in his life, AnairdaRose, and with the Missing and the Kissing that I believe you Both still share, it will end up Back to Square One Minus the strings attached. And you are most likely no better off for it will be a full circle again to What he broke up with you in the first place For--------Busy and going away a lot, only this time you both would be titled "Budding bed mates," Not Soul mates.
    I always find, too, with an Ex that not being hooked at the hip or being tied down, they have the upper hand now, the freedom to do as they like and see who they Like, but that doesn't mean it has to Include being Straw boss over you and your own wise decisions.
    If you feel you want to make a clean break because you Know deep down what it's going to lead To-----A dead horse and a dead end road--------then tell him that's not what you are in the saddle for. You either want things to go back to the way they were, for with his lame duck excuses that don't fly with me here, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that the only thing that would have changed is he is in the saddle making you ride bare back and the only one who is holding the reins is this cowboy.
    It's your choice, your call, but frankly, I believe a girl like you should have a Prince Charming, not a snake charmer who thinks he is Holding All the cards in his hands.
    Yes, 'taking advantage of me' and the situation at hand. But you're smart enough to either break it before it becomes a Full Circle down the beaten path or keep it light and semi sweet and lay your own ground rules down with just being your own sheriff.
    Good luck. xx

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What Guys Said 2

  • I wouldn't give him the time and cuddle. Go find a guy who has the time to have a proper relationship with you.

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  • Those excuses for the breakup and just that--excuses. Very few breakups actually occur with the true reasons being said, which are almost always 1 of 2 things--either he has found someone else OR he has just lost interest in you.

    You obviously care more about him than he does about you, which is why being friends isn't the best idea cuz ultimately it will be you that gets hurt.

    If you really want to try and get him back stop being so available--in other words stop contacting him. If he gets a hold of you be a little cold toward him and see how he reacts.

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What Girls Said 1

  • no you shouldn't stay friends with your ex.

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