I got dumped. (It ended on good terms) I'm applying the no contact rule, but she texted me. What do I do?

Hi, I'm in my mid 20's and she is 20. My ex and I were together for about 5 months. She fell in love with me. She thought I was the perfect guy, we saw each other pretty much every day. Everything was GREAT! Her family loved me, My family loved her. We were perfect for each other.

Then all of a sudden the week before the breakup, she was a bit cold. barely kissed me, barely held my hand. then it happened. We met up at a coffee shop and She dumped me. She cried a lot, and I tried not to show any emotion or reaction. I wanted her to know that I was going to be okay with the breakup. She said she wanted to focus on getting her career going and was scared she wouldn't be able to give me the attention while at school/work. She wanted to stay friends but I said No, it's not a good idea. She also mentioned that she's scared she's going to regret her decision, and she also said she will probably never find another guy like me. I don't think another guy is in the picture because we saw each other every single day.

What I'm thinking is maybe we saw each other too much? I read up on it a lot, and I'm given the advice of doing the "No Contact Rule" for at least a month to kind of get her to miss me and maybe regret her decision to break up. Because after seeing me every day, then I just disappear, maybe she will realize that I'm gone now and remember the good times and let go of the recent negatives and want me back.

After doing the No contact rule for 4 days after the breakup, I posted pictures of me going out with friends. She texted me the next morning after I posted the pictures wishing me and my family a happy Thanksgiving weekend. I decided not to text back because If I want this no contact to be effective, I can't break it. I have to do it for at least 30 days.

Should I have replied? Or am I doing it right by not texting her so she can start to miss me? Any advice on what I should do would be great! I'm listening! Please Help. Thanks!
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What Girls Said 2

  • I think you're doing it right. She was reaching out for attention after seeing that you were having a good time. Going a little longer is a good thing. But remember, the no contact rule doesn't always work in the long-term. It can have good short-term effects (makes her miss you and regret the decision right now), but then once you get back together, she starts to remember the reasons she wanted to break up in the first place.

    The best thing you can do is use the NC rule for yourself and your own healing/getting over the breakup. If you're supposed to get back together you will. Also, I think it's common to want to spend every minute together in the honeymoon phase, but it can cause a suffocation feeling too. I had this with my ex boyfriend, and even though I loved him, I felt we needed to spend a bit less time together because it was starting to make me afraid I was losing my independence. I was mainly worried I'd start failing in school and losing my friends.

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    • That is great advice. Because everything was good, and there was passion there at some point, I think if I step back and give her some space, she will remember those times and want those moments again.

  • You are doing good. No contact is amazing and works well. She dumped you and even thought she might have texted, it still doesn't change the fact that she said "thank you, but no thank you" to you and therefor no contact should still be initiated. You're doing it right and I'm positive you won't regret this in the long run.

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