My girlfriend and I started dating on October 19 2013, after she asked me out. She said she fell for me the moment she saw me and never had that feeling before. She talked about kids and marriage with me and even told her mom that I am husband material for her. She loved me more than anything. In December 2013 we broke up for about 1-2 weeks and got back together and everything was going great again. Throughout the relationship she would get mad at me for not telling what was on my mind.. We still had tons of fun with eachother and still couldnt get enough of each other. I became really comfortable in the relationship which caused me to take her for granted and not try as much as i should of been doing. She would get stressed out so much trying to make me happy all the time cause she thought she didn't make me happy anymore because i would start to get in salty moods more often because i was jealous more and afraid to lose her. She broke up with me on Tuesday October 7th 2014 saying she wasent happy anymore and i wasent for her anymore. She texted me on wednsday and Thursday and Friday to meet up to give out stuff back but we never met up. On Saturday she texted me saying to have a great Thanksgiving and wish she could of saw me before the weekend and said that she loves me with all her heart. On Sunday night she texted me some more saying she needs to see me and she's in so much pain and she doesn't know what to do and ended up talking on the phone about what was wrong. Finally yesterday on Monday October 13 she met up. We talked about the problems that we had, i told her I've never thought about a relationship so much and i know i did a lot of things wrong. Before she left she hugged me so tightly and kissed me on the cheek and then i went in her kissed her lips and we stood there for a few minutes just holding each other so tightly and kissing and she said she loves me so much and i said i love you more, and now im here, confused and wondering what to do
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It sounds as though she fell in love with her preconceived notion of an ideal partner, not you. Probably your appearance or behavior matched her romantic desires and she targeted you to fulfill her amorous dreams. She caught a glimpse of the real you after a couple of months (December), but then fell back into her fantasies. She continues her attempt to fit you into her mold of the ideal man for her.
You seem so enamored of her that you have become willing to submerge the real you and force yourself into that mold. You can become your own person by taking charge here and opening up real communication with her regarding who you each are as individual human beings.
I am not disparaging this relationship. I encourage you both to survey yourselves, to discover who you are as distinct persons, to further define your self-identity now and to direct yourselves to the persons you want to become. I am not spilling maudlin mush on you, I am telling you that you have to give these more important things your deepest consideration when you become romantically involved with others. Focus on yourself, not the other person. You've heard it before: You must like yourself before others can like you.0