It's over, I swear, but I'm genuinely worried?

I was in a secret relationship at work. Something happened, too much drama I guess, and he went silent. I'm totally fine with it being done, however, I'm worried about him. I think there is something really wrong or strange going on with him, and at a minimum, we can definitely be friends. I don't care to date him or sleep with him again, but I do care about his well being. We have not really spoken in over 2 weeks, should I check in and offer a friendly ear? I'm sure he'd ignore it, but I am genuinely concerned, and would really like him to know I'm here in a friend capacity. I'm married (getting divorced) and am not desperate to "get him back". Just feeling haunted by his recent, miserable behavior.


Most Helpful Guy

  • By all means try but if people don't want to talk not a lot can be done. Just keep the lines open for them in case they want to talk. Caring is not illegal.

    • Thank you... caring is not illegal, I like that. Any advice on wording? I almost feel like slipping him a post it note with "U Ok? I'm a little worried about ya." He is an "avoider", so not sure what kind of reaction I'd get! Text will definitely not get a response, but I can just send an " informational" text saying, "not sure if you are OK or not, but if you ever do want to talk, I am here as a friend."

    • It's difficult because we don't know what he feels/thinks so there is no easy approach. It takes two people to work things out so I would just reach out sending hope, love and support. Obviously not love in your situation. It can be tricky trying to be there for someone when your own life is happy. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by other peoples turmoil and I need to withdraw to prevent negative internal reactions.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Being you work together and were once "Together," no harm in sending a friendly text just to Check up on how he is doing? He most likely will respond with just a hymn and a haw but at least you would have showed a side of you that he unfortunately will never get to know.
    His silence will probably stay not so golden, you may never really know what's eating him up inside unless you both would sit down and talk about it.
    Good luck. xx

    • Thanks, I just don't want to give him an ego trip like I'm pineing away for him or something. I need that to be crystal clear... I'm done. He's 36 but acts like a 15 year old girl with PMS!

    • Yes, a typical man who is one of the millions who are like this, especially after the lovin;... It's up to you if you want to shoot a hi, how are you or if it left on a Bad note, then leave it alone and if you run into him face to face, be Civil and ask how are you? xx

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What Guys Said 2

  • I would make a point of going to see him, face to face, and ask him straight out...
    "You've been very quiet lately! What's up?"

    .. and take it from there

  • I would leave him alone. His behavior is not your responsibility. He will come to you if he needs you.


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