If I'm so great what's the problem?

Dated an amazing guy for 6mnths. We hit it odd in all aspects of the word. Spent all our time together initiated by both parties. Told me on more than one occasion he didn't know what I saw in him and that I was spoiling him. We shared orlife stories.. Good and bad v couldn't seem to get enough of each other. He calls it quits. No contact for 3wks. I finally speak with him. He says that he loves me but that he didn't see us moving to the next level. That I am the sweetest and most amazing woman he had ever met but that he didn't feel any spark and it wasn't fair to continue to date knowing eventually i would want that next step. He missed me and thinks about me and thinks about our wonderful times together but it isn't moving forward. During the 3wks breakup he had been out to dinner with 2 different women. His friends tell me that he isn't ready for a relationship and that breaking up with me was the hardest thing he had ever done in his life because I did nothing wrong and he thinks the world of me. He is one of the most honest people I know so I dint question him except that he was even able to go out with someone else and I felt like the world had caved in.


0|0
23

Most Helpful Guy

  • I could be totally wrong so I'd like other people's input - but I'm guessing his interest in you dropped and he found someone he was more attracted to.

    The cause of him breaking up with you stems from one thing and one thing only, which is this: the reason (s) for breaking up with you outweighed the reason (s) for staying with you. That's it.

    This is why I think that he lost interest in you while finding someone else that he was into more. The reason (s) for staying went down, while the reason (s) for leaving went up.

    "He says that he loves me but that he didn't see us moving to the next level"

    This kinda seems like he wasn't attracted to you anymore. I mean, for me, if Rosie O'Donnell came to my door, I wouldn't be willing to go to any level with her. If Keira Knightley came to my door, I WOULD be willing to go to any level with her. The only exception in your case is if he was really into you, but had some psychological block preventing him from going to the next level with you. For example, maybe he loves you, but he can't marry (or whatever the next level is) anyone because of some trauma that happened to him as a child. I don't think that's the case here because (1) he was willing to date you for half a year (and therefore knew ahead of time that the relationship would eventually get serious), and (2) he's now dating other women. This tells me that he's comfortable with the idea (in general) of potentially entering into a long-term relationship. So the issue is his feelings toward you in particular.

    One cause of this might be the fact that you two spent all your time together. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and I think pacing the relationship to where you are not spending all your time with each other would have made the relastionship last longer.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Some guys are serial daters or serial monogamists, or commitment phobes. Consequently, they have propensity to leave women at any given time, regardless of the women's looks or personalities. They tend to find an excuse to breakup, then leave the women high and dry. Period. By the way, going out on dates with other women does not necessarily conclude he is open to a potential long term relationship. I mean, players often take women on dates, etc.

      To get over someone, some guys simply date other people to alleviate their pain or to prevent being alone.

Most Helpful Girl

  • He was completely honest with you. He enjoyed your company but he needs to be free to find the woman he wants to commit to. This is only being fair to himself and to you. He's wasting your time if he can't love you proper and waisting your time as well. Time to move on.

    0|0
    0|0

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • He didn't want to be tied down. Because he had that preference doesn't mean there's something wrong with you.

    If you are in the mood for Mexican, it doesn't mean Italian food is shit.

    0|0
    0|0
  • The clues were there, asking what u saw in him he was trying to put u off him knowing this day would come. He seems scared of the next level! U said u had shared life stories so did any of his include the next level with anybody or include somebody breaking his heart? He may still have feelings he may be hurting after doing this to u but the issue does seem to be in his own head so try and remember something he told u that would indicate he is scared to commit. Either this or he's played u like a good one. Good luck x

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 1

  • He probably is scared. But honestly do you want to be with someone who Doesn't want to be with you? It's probably hard for him cause he does have those feelings for you, it just doesn't feel right and the thought of marriage is unsettling

    0|0
    0|0

Recommended myTakes

Loading...