Why is my ex-girlfriend still in contact with me?

I dated Kate throughout most of college. We had an on and off "relationship"during the last year. We were essentially a couple without actually being one. She had definite feelings for me during this time, but I wasn't able to commit again, since afterall, she was the one who ended our original relationship. She had regretted ending it after a month, but the damage had been done. We both still had feelings though, and this led to the confusion of the last year.

At the end of the year she became mad that I was getting very close to a girl. She was very angry and a week later was talking to another guy. Remember we weren't "dating", so she didn't tell me. I wanted her back and made it clear during this time. Two more weeks and their dating! For the next couple months I pleaded with her to come back. For the most part she was very respectful and kind in her responses. She wouldn't talk to me over the phone so this was aoo texting. Now we both initiate contact and make jokes or shoot the wind every few days. During this time she also moved states away to Maine, away from both her new guy and myself. Long distance after a few months of dating when she couldn't stand to be away from me for a few weeks at a time. She would breakdown... Hmm.
So I'm trying to figure that out, why is she talking to me? She just started a new relationship, and she dealt with my shit all through the beginning of things. I assume she has kept this all from him. She has moved away. She has made it very clear she has moved on and is happy, but says she doesn't know what the future holds with us when I ask. She kept stating that basically she is happy right, and that fact is enough for her. I find it hard to believe she wants to be friends with me after this all. New bf and moved to Maine? I don't know why you would want to try to be friends with an ex

Yet she keeps contact... Am I plan B now? Any thoughts? Does she really want to be friends? What should I be doing right now?

  • She wants to keep me around if things don't work with her bf.
    Vote A
  • She is trying to make me jealous.
    Vote B
  • She really just wanted to be friends.
    Vote C
  • It's a rebound. She will figure it out.
    Vote D
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Updates:
Also want to add because it might be important. Our relationship was fantastic. We were talking about marriage. Then she ended out of nowhere because "she didn't have the same feelings". Month later she is back. I never cheated, lied or anything.

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What Girls Said 1

  • She clearly still has feelings for you. If she didn't she wouldn't continue to talk to you. She started dating the guy to make you jealous and guess what? It worked. Smart girl. At this point she is probably unsure of your relationship. I would be very straightforward with her and let her know what exactly you want. If she still continues to date the other guy I would completely stop all contact with her for 30 days. Even if she contacts you. This will give her time to realize if she is actually happy in her relationship and what her life would be like without you. It will also give you time to reflect on your relationship with her and what you real want. It sounds like you guys need to get on the same page and be completely honest with each other.

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    • Thanks for replying peaches.
      I'm feeling like she has to too. I mean come on. If she didn't have any feelings she would be long gone at this point I'm sure. She has her new relationship to cushion the blow of leaving if she wanted to.

      And boy it def worked haha. I don't want what I can't have, but boy did it make me realize what I had.

      I've been beyond straightforward the last few months, despite her new relationship. I've always been a great communicator and have no problem saying how I feel. Her on the other hand not so much.

      Also want to add because it might be important. Our relationship was fantastic. We were talking about marriage. Then she ended out of nowhere because "she didn't have the same feelings". Month later she is back. I never cheated, lied or anything in case you or anyone was wondering.

      Right now I keep flip flopping on her. One week I tell her I can be friends. The next I want her gone because of the hurt. Then another I'm trying to get her back.

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