Why does ex boyfriend say 'we are just. friends. now' and also says 'things should happen naturally amd not artificially' ? What's the deal?

Ex boyfriend currently being a pain in the ass! A few months into' break up' and he only wants to talk by text UNTIL 'I show I have changed my behaviour and become a better person'. Kind of annoying as I hate to text and we still argue because we both have a lot of anger (more so him).

Now, he says if things are meant to happen than it will without efforts and if not it won't. He is a believer in that stupid ' meant to be or not' mentality. I AM NOT. I try to text about 'normal convos' and then he starts in with this shit and saying ' I can't expect anything from him, but expect everything from myself' . And, things should be in a natural way.,, so
WHat the hell?

He likes to remind me that' we are just friends as of now because of my behaviour' .

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What Guys Said 1

  • Delete his number, block all methods of communication and move on from him.

    You don't sound suited. I follow your stance, if you want something to happen, you make it happen. My journeys in life so far have lead me to believe that those who say "If it's meant to happen, it'll happen" when they are discussing a limbo moment in their own life regarding a relationship, they are just too frightened to end the relationship for real.

    "If things are meant to happen than it will without efforts" - that is total rubbish. I love my wife to bits, she loves me to bits. You still have to deal with the every day portions of life which aren't enjoyable, but if you love each other, you just get on with it. You don't even consider it being hard work. If it feels like hard work, you simply aren't with the right person.

    The fact that he is telling you to change your behaviour means 1 of 2 things:

    - He wants to be in control of you
    - He's already decided you aren't right for him and should split up.

    If you have a personality where you need to have someone in control of you, it'd work. The fact it is annoying you says to me that you don't and that you are wasting time dealing with him.

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    • Thanks, very insightful! I am glad someone else is practical also! I agree with him having a 'limbo moment' and a lot of what he's projected is confusion and contradiction. The control part is absolutely part of it because I used to be the more dominant personality until the last few months of the relationship, and then it was 'payback time' from him (so it seems).

      It is a tough call because I also don't blame him for his anger and I actually kind of pushed him to break up with me by my treatment towards him. But, if he doesn't get off the high horse soon, then I am just going to get tired of reaching out to get my hand slapped every time!

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