Why is this so hard for me?

My ex and I broke up about 3 years ago. We dated for a year and some, he was my first EVERYTHING. We have had time where we've tried to work things out but different things were happening to us that didn't make it easy. Threw out the time he has had different girlfriends and stuff but he always finds his way back to me. (I haven't date anyone since we broke up just because I don't want anyone to feel like they're my second choice that wouldn't be fair to them) Every time he get a new girl friend it makes it easier (at least I think) to move on. I kind like that he finds his way back to me because that means he is still thinking about me too. Right? One of our times of reconnecting he told me that I was his first love and the other girls really don't help him get his mind off of me. The most recent time we reconnected he was back in town for a week fresh out of a relationship and we hung out and we made out a bit and cuddle most of the time as we were talk he told me that I'm always going to have a special place in his heart and a bunch of other stupid female emotional things. After I left he told me that he had no idea that he still had these strong of feelings for me. we
So my questions are why do I still have these feelings for him? Why haven't they really changed much? Am I dumb for believing and still having feelings for him?

I'm not really an emotional girl so this topic makes me upset.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Answers to the questions in the last few lines:
    Question 1: he was your first everything
    Question 2: he was your first everything
    Question 3: No, just naive..
    My opinion.. and I will keep this short...
    have you ever heard of the terms "fall back" "rebound" "on deck" "available" "spare tire" etc... I could go on.
    If you know one of these terms, you know what you are to him. Your next move is up to you.

    • Wow, that really made me sad. But thanks for your opinion I needed that.

    • Show All
    • any time.

    • thanks for the vote

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What Guys Said 1

  • Well based on this story it seems as though, you have not dated because you hold out this hope to get back with him. I think you need to move on. His actions clearly show what he wants. Words are words, anyone can bull shoot you Maybe you feel like me.. being the first, not knowing any different, and not knowing how to let go

    • To be honest I hold no hope for getting back together. I've been over that phase in life a long time. I haven't date because I don't like getting close to people. It's really hard for me too.

    • @Asker ok well I would venture to say that you have no desire to get back with him but you would get back with what you thought he was.

    • I guess there is some part of me that could agre with that.

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