What does it mean when a guy says the relationship is over but still calling and texting everyday?

Im/was in a relationship with a guy for a year now. We are both in our late 40s. I am separated with 3 grown up daughters while he just came out from long relationship. At the beginning, he pursued me like crazy. Calling and texting almost every hour of the day. He spent a a lot on me and he also tried to help me financially. At first, I wasn't really attracted to him and told him quite bluntly that I wasn't ready for a relationship. I told him about my insecurities and trust issues. In fact I have told him everything that could possibly made him don't want me. But he was determined and finally, I gave in. We met on a social networking. He confessed his love only just 3 days into the friendship. After few months into the relationship, I really fell in love with him. And that where problems started. My insecurities and trust got the best of me. And to make matter worse, my pms causing me to have mood swings and anger outburst. I admit I must have made him feel suffocated by my constant questions about why he was always online. Sometimes his explanation doesn't make sense to me. The final straw came when I asked him about a female friend of his on social networking who seem to be close to him. I added her and told her I was his girlfriend but instead she said "isn't he gay" which of course I said no. She didn't accept my friendship request. That only made me feel there was something going one. After a huge fight about her and my demand that he deleted her which he did, he was never the same. He was cold and distance. His calls and texts became less but still everyday. Finally I asked him whether he was losing interest. And he said he has closed his heart for me and that the relationship was gone. He said with my doubt and trusting issues, the relationship will never work. But what puzzled me is that he is still contacting me everyday and still support me financially. What should I do?


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What Guys Said 1

  • His bark, perhaps, is worse than his bite. As such, believe his actions, not his words. At the time stated he the relationship was over, I assume he expected you to ask or perhaps beg for his forgiveness, in addition to offering him a sincere apology, for the manner in which you handled the matter involving his female friend. But, since you did not, his hands was forced. Thus, he had to make a conclusive decision in regards to breaking up with you, in which he decided to continue contacting you.

    If you want him back, apologize to him and talk things over, thoroughly.

    • Hi there, thanks for the response. I did offer him a sincere apology after the incident. He said ok but then also said that I will never change. He was never the same again. Yesterday, he said there is no relationship anymore. I told him to give it a try once more and talk things over. He said it is not working, he has no confidence after what had happened and that I will never change. Then I said this time I would change my attitude just like what he wanted me to do. He said lets God guides us. I decided to accept that the relationship is really over. I also decided if he still contacting me as though nothing has happened, I will just let him until he decided to stop calling or texting. Sometimes its true about action speaks louder than words but whether the action derived from love or pity is a question only the known to that person.

    • Indeed. And, well said, if I do say so myself.

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