Returning gifts after a break up?

My friend broke up with her boyfriend after a 3 year relationship. They never lived together. He gave her something that had belonged to his father and now his mother is demanding that she return it. If it was a gift from the now ex-boyfriend is she obligated to return it? It’s been 3 months since they broke up and just now the mother is sending threatening texts. BTW: it was an old beat up crate left in a shed that had been neglected and in disrepair and had been there for several years. Now all of a sudden the crazy mother of the ex-boyfriend wants it back.

Updates:
The feeling the friend has it that because of the mother's attitude. Instead of nicely asking for it back, from the onset she was very rude and demanding. The mother has a lot of money and is used to getting her way by intimidating.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • For me there are 2 facts: first - it was gift from him so there is no need to return it. This is a gift, not loan or enything like that. This is from technical point of view. But there is one important thing. What this girl is feeling? If she is feeling bad with this gift she can return it. But if she is ok with it - look at point 1. That's simple for me :)

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What Guys Said 1

  • so if it is so meaningless to your friend why would she care about giving it back?

    the fact that it was a belonging of the bf's family that kind of changes things. if it was just a gift he bought and gave her I say she is entitled to keep it but since it was more of a loaned item from the family I'd side with the mom and father in that they do have a claim to have it back... and again if it is so meaningless and beat up why would your friend care?

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What Girls Said 3

  • First off, don't judge people based on their actions... There is obviously an underlying reason behind them which doesn't really "justify" the actions BUT we need to be compassionate towards what ever may be going on with her...
    I would give it back though. I don't see the point of withholding it from her now -- granted it was a gift -- but she obviously has a strong desire to have it back.

    It doesn't matter what it is or what the value used to be... there is a value now.

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  • hard to say.. I think a gift is a gift.. he should have thought about it before he gave it to her. but then again if she has no use for it she could as well give it back.

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  • Maybe he had no right to give it in the first place, personally i would give it to her, it might not mean anything to anyone else but may be a great value to his mother, your friends bf gave something which was his fathers so he probably thought a lot of her, and expected the relationship to last, its not a case of being obligated , its about doing the right thing, its probably meaningless to your friend now coz she's not with him anymore, so she should give it back to the person who it has meaning too, i think its cruel and immature to not give it to his mother, its chdish to think she's not getting it back just coz it was a gift, there's a bigger picture than that,

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