Was I right to break up with her for this?

I am a 22 year old shy guy who was dating a gorgeous 20 year old blonde. She is a cheerleader at my college. However, the thing is she is my complete opposite. She's very outgoing and I'm not. I would see her socializing with other people and think to myself "I'm not the guy for her." So, I decided to break up with her.

I told her "I have no idea what you see in me since I'm shy. But you deserve a more outgoing guy and I'm not the guy for you." Her smile disappeared and she had tears in her eyes and she said "It doesn't matter if you're shy, you treat me well!" I told her "Someday you'll thank me" and walked away. Was I right?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • No get her back. Opposites attract your laidback and shy and she's outgoing. Great match and she will he a positive influence on your life. Some outgoing flirty guys are players. She said you treat her well so she definitely wants you. Be more confident in yourself

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What Girls Said 13

  • That was probably one of the biggest mistakes you will make. Obviously she saw something in you, or she wouldn't be dating you. You're fucking lucky you found someone who stuck around because she thought you treated her right. Most girls don't look for guys that treat them right. I'm not sure whether you should go and get her back because you breaking up with her because you think she deserves better is just an all-in-all pansy cop-out.

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    • Women like outgoing men. I'm not that guy.

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    • I did. She took me back.

    • Proud of you, dude :) I wish you the best!

  • Oh please, like this ever actually happened. It sounds like a scene out of Cinderella story

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  • You weren't right. I hate it when guys give me ''I did it out of love'' crap. She's probably wondering what she did wrong.

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    • Exactly. And causing this type of emotional hurt is bogus.

      I mean, she did do something 'wrong' - but it was a *minor* sin of omission, which he didn't bother to bring up / address with her, like an adult, caring BF.

      And by 'wrong,' I mean 'not conducive to a good relationship', not something that I would ever hold against a person. Whereas this dude's breaking up with her? That *is* a wrong.

  • I think you should just go back to her and think about this more because when a girl finds a guy that treats her well it doesn't matter if he's not outgoing what matters is that you guys feel comfortable around each other and care for each other. Don't let anything like your being shy or anything get in between what you guys had...
    Don't break her heart cause of you think is wrong talk with her and see what she wants not only what you think is good for you guys.

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  • If you liked her. It doesn't matter how different you were. She liked you for you. Tell her you were stupid and ask for her back.

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  • This breaks my heart :( Judging by her response, she really appreciated you being there for her. Maybe with her looking gorgeous and having an outgoing & social personality, she's had to deal with a bunch of assholes who just want her for her looks. But you're different than them and she wanted that change to be in her life. Or maybe she's dated idiots who didn't love her and treat her the way she wished she could be treated. Opposites attract. Don't just give up because you *think* she should be with someone more like herself. The two of you need to find a middle ground in the relationship in terms of socializing and have much better communication. Communication is the key to a healthy relationship at all stages!! If you're afraid she'll get swept off her feet by other guys just bc you're shy and others are outgoing, then you need to talk about it and trust each other.

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  • Have you ever heard of opposites attract? It seems to me that mostly outgoing people date the more quiet people. You need to gain more confidence and go get that girl back.

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    • Women say they do, but I go by actions. Most women want a guy who is outgoing and the life of the party.

    • Well maybe she's not most women.

  • Have you thought of this thoroughly? I think you dont have confidence thats why you initiated the break up before she can in the long run.

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  • I don't think that was a good decision. She seemed to care about you regardless of your shyness. Go get her back! and I wish you the best of luck. :)

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  • That was wrong and hurtful of you to do. I hope she never gives you another chance.

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  • What @intodreams said awww that broke my heart. You broke her heart

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  • Dude, opposites attract. Enough said

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  • Don't let your bad self esteem ruin a good thing!

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What Guys Said 9

  • She saw you for who you were... You sound like a nice guy and coming from fellow nice guy it is harder for us to find a GF who wants us for just being yourself and actually wants to be with us... From your post there was nothing negative about how she treated you... I think you should call her...

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  • No, you were a dick.

    You should've told her that you're uncomfortable, and don't feel like you're awesome in the relationship. This is partly her fault, because she wasn't telling you what you were bringing to the table for her, and building your confidence in the relationship. But that's something that you need to bring up, if it's something you need.

    You should apologize to her, and tell her that you're really feeling like you don't measure up to what she wants/or seems like she deserves, given her feedback to you (ie: none). And that you feel that she's awesome, and amazing. - and you're not seeing what you bring to the table is worth so much.

    Tell her that you apologize, and that if she wants you, you're available - you weren't seeing anyone else, but that you're really going to need to sit down and talk about stuff.

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    • It's not her fault. It's mine. How am I a dick when I want the best for her?

    • Because you broke up with her, when she did nothing wrong (your requiring her to read your mind and reassure your insecurities is not her fault - and is more typical of the shit women pull on guys; ie: all in your fucking head). If she wasn't happy with what she had, she would've broken up with you.

  • It seems to me you are lacking in self esteem and probably feel like you will be unable to compete with other guys for her attention. You need to realize that any attractive girl, and even the unattractive girls, are going to constantly be hit on by other guys. The problem isn't her being outgoing, or you being shy. The problem is that you're insecure and afraid of being hurt.

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  • Sounds like you shot yourself in the foot.

    If she wasn't okay with you being shy, she wouldn't have started dating you in the first place. If that really bothered her, it would have surfaced well before. The fact that she's outgoing doesn't mean that she has to be with someone else who is.

    It sounds to me like the problem isn't her being outgoing and you being reserved. The problem is that you have really low self-esteem and don't feel like you deserve her, which would likely have become an issue later on. However, if you don't have any self-esteem even when she clearly likes you, then you do have some internal issues to work out before you start dating anyone again.

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  • yeah that was probably best for her. you are a selfish dick. she shouldn't waste her time with you

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  • I hate to say it, but I think you were wrong in this case.

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  • You are seriously lacking in self-esteem. And you're clearly more than a little immature.

    But here's the big thing: what right do you have to decide for her what kind of man she should or shouldn't have? That's her choice isn't it? She wanted to be with you, and your only reason for breaking up with her was because of your own childish hangups on what she should want rather than what she actually wanted?

    Go apologize to her, and if you're lucky, she may take you back.

    And grow a spine--that's what you're lacking. Being outgoing has nothing to do with being sociable or likable.

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  • Man people like what's different I have always seen religious girls with bad boys lol
    When shit comes to love all logical expections should be forgot. But here it's sort of weird u might have felt that u are the feminine part in ur relationship and that led u to break up I see it from this way I know how shitty it feels, u are excused.

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    • Expectations

    • Religious girls are wild freaks dude lmao.

  • lol if she's as hot, outgoing and popular as you say then she was with you for reasons beyond your shyness (unless your like bill gates son).

    I think you tried to break up with her before she did that to you

    BIG mistake. I can't prove, buy, say, etc. anything to my passive aggressive gf that matters.

    You had someone who sounds like they saw you for you, and you let it go. BIG BIG BIG MISTAKE.

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    • It was for the best. She'll find someone as equally popular.

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    • I'm gonna call and hope I haven't burned the bridge.

    • Good luck man, but if you get back in which its 50-50. From now on focus on what benefits you give her... Trust me she'll let you know either directly or indirectly if you're doing something wrong. So don't sweat OMG I'm not an outgoing party animal. Just do what you do best.

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