"My heart's on my sleeve, but it's turning black.."?

My ex and i were together for more than a year and a half. We had a lot of chemistry and very happy together- no issues with trust, jealousy, etc. just a happy couple. when i left for college 2 months ago, i knew he was worried about me leaving as he is still in high school but he never really said anything. he broke up with me a month ago, but it was more of me saying i will give him time and space, because he did not want to break up but he was confused and stressed out. after two weeks apart, i had been keeping in touch with him and he told me things while venting and i now know that he is depressed and extremely stressed out with things in his life other than me. i went to his house to talk, and we ended up deciding to try again & work on things. the next day he had another break down, & said he isn't ready for a relationship right now. i talked to his mom because we are very close, and she said he was a mess that day he ended it for a second time, and that she knows he is hurting a lot but is confused right now. i decided to leave him alone and stop trying so hard to keep us together, because i had been the only one trying for the two weeks after we broke up. i know that he is also being influenced by his friends who are also heartbroken at the moment but by cheating girlfriends so they want him to be single too, he admits that they never treat him like true friends should. i deleted all my social media and stopped contact with him for the past two weeks,(we have been apart for a month now) but today he texted me saying he was in my college town on a school trip (so he couldn't come see me) but he asked how i was & i replied with great, how are you? he replied with "eh" so i asked if his friends and school are still stressing him out, & his response was "i'm lonely". i replied with "oh" and he did not respond. i just didn't know what to say, because i have been so sad missing him thinking we were over, and now he said that. what should i do?
We are back together! Thanks all for your advice!


Most Helpful Guy

  • Sounds like he was looking to hook up for sex for the day (if u have both been having sex that is) his sudden change maybe influenced by friends wanting his attention and being young he has let that affect your relationship. He sounds confused by u going away maybe he thinks u will hurt him and meet somebody else. Talk to him but in person or call but not texts consisting of eh and hi etc. Ask him to tell u how he's feeling and listen and support him even if u don't like what he may say. Good luck


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What Guys Said 2

  • The new element of negativity with the breakup makes the person seem like a new or different person, and we see different parts of those people we didn't know were there.

  • If you want to date again, do it. If not, leave him alone as he's clearly not over you and needs time.

    • chasten,
      I tried to get get back together with him, but he changed his mind the next day saying he didn't want a relationship, but today he texted me saying he was lonely. I do want to get back together, and i was very blunt and told him that 2 weeks ago, but he wasn't ready... i guess i just don't know if its that easy to just date again if i want to, because i don't know what page he is on... do you really think he's not over me?
      thanks for your advice!

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