I want closure... How would you find closure?

How would you go about finding closure with an ex that is close to you?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I disagree with the idea that closure is not an option. The key is to find a way to let that person go and move on. Understand that mistakes and regrets have existed and chose to look at them not as negative things but simply as the way it was. Make restitution, achieve peace, and close the door and walk away.

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    • Thats what I was thinking thank you...

    • Yeah I recently found my own closure, its hard to describe but its an amazing feeling.

    • How did you go about it? @raisingcain

Most Helpful Girl

  • I agree with @kittykatg in that there really is no such thing as receiving 'closure'.

    My ex cheated on me before breaking up with me, of course leaving me distraught. I was a mess for about half a year, thinking that I'd be able to fully move on if he'd just get in touch with me and give me some closure.

    Sure enough, a few months later, he did send me a message apologizing, saying he feels terrible for what he did and that he wished it didn't happen. I was glad to receive it, thinking I'd finally be able to put that incident in the past. Surprisingly, I felt no better or any more over it afterwards. I gave it some time to 'sink in', but still no difference. I gave it a lot of thought, and asked myself what I would want him to say that would truly make me feel better.

    I had thought him owning up to his mistake and acknowledging that he messed up would suffice. He did just that, but regardless he did what he did and I was just as hurt. Only if you could turn back time or erase the past would 'closure' be attainable with an ex, regardless of how close you two were.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • You have to close it yourself.

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What Girls Said 3

  • As a psych major I'm going to be 100% with you: there is no such thing as closure. There will always be more that you wish you could've said or done. It's about learning to live and cope knowing that.

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    • i agree thanks :) and do you think it would be better to just say whats on my mind and hear whatever or just let it go and wonder what couldve happened if i said something?

    • It depends on the situation. There are a few instances with exes that speaking your mind works out great for all, most of the time though it seems like one, if not both, just get more hurt. Then they want to say more then the cycle of trying to get closure continues.

    • Ok thank you! :)

  • Going through the same thing myslf. Let me know if you find the answer

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    • Sorry to hear that! you too

  • I would see a counselor
    You won't find closure in an ex. It will just lead to more questions and bring up old emotions

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