My ex-boyfriend broke up with me, I understood that it was the last fight he wanted to have. I was devastated but wanted to let him go if that's what he wanted and needed. 4 days later I found out I was pregnant... I told him immediately and everything became a shit show arguing constantly about what to do with the baby. When I told him I couldn't go through with an abortion and would raise this baby with or without him he lost it. We both said some incredibly hurtful things and I ended up shutting him out completely, a few days later we spoke again and he told me he wanted to be involved and even talked about moving closer to my house to be there for the baby. Again out of anger and confusion I shut him out. I don't want to trap him in a relationship with me at all especially since he never wanted kids. I'm not trying to ruin his life this was unplanned and unexpected. Now I am having trouble coming to terms with him being involved and the idea of him already moving on to someone else. I've never felt such jealously over a situation I don't even know exists. My mind constantly goes to the worst case scenario which to me is he's already happily in a new relationship with another woman. I know I made many mistakes in this process and would like to work it out with him but I don't want other women around our child especially when we broke up not even a month ago. I'm 12 weeks now and we haven't spoken in a few weeks. Do you think he's moved on in a new relationship and forgotten about me? Does anyone think we can work this out? We had talked about couples therapy, he seemed very willing and so am I. Please help me and thank you!!!
Most Helpful Guy
I agree with @UlsterScot to get that info in case he becomes a deadbeat, but I think you need to just take a couple deep breaths and sleep on some of this info for the day.
Yes, y'all will need to have a SUPER LONG talk about whether y'all are trapping each other in a relationship, should probably go to couples therapy, etc. etc.
Otherwise, it seems like this dude is manning up and holding his balls by saying that he'll be responsible for the child he helped father. It may not be the perfect relationship, but that is damn impressive.
I'm willing to bet that unless he is a total sociopathic asshole, he hasn't moved on from you in such a short amount of time and is probably shitting bricks thinking about this very serious life situation.
My advice to you is to contact him, hash this all out as calmly as possible, and then CHILL OUT HARDCORE. As in, take a nap, eat some veggies, take a bath, etc.
I'm sorry that you're going through such a mega life change right now, but please be responsible and take care of yourself now that you are carrying another :)0
Most Helpful Girl
I think you two can work this out. You need to stop shutting him out. He seems willing to commit to this child and even couples therapy. Some guys won't be willing to anything and just runaway from the girl. I think that you should tell him that you don't want to trap him and all the other fears that you are feeling. If he is willing to do this with you, then he wants to do this. He wants to commit and be involved in this childs life. We all make mistakes in life. No one is perfect. We need to move on from our mistake and accept that we are human and we will continue to make mistakes. So, forgive yourself and learn from your mistakes, move forward. But you need to talk to this guy. If he is seeing someone else, then you should tell him that you don't want your child around other women. Be open and honest with him. You won't go wrong from there. He might appreciate your honesty and will understand you better. Just give him a chance. Overall, if he wants to be there for the baby and help you, then don't throw that chance away and accept that he isn't like most guys who will runaway and never see you again. So give him a chance and see what happens. Make it work together...0