Is it best to cut contact or remain friends after a breakup?

I broke up with my boyfriend a few days ago. We love each other a lot but for reasons I can't fully explain I just don't want to be with him anymore. He tries not to show it, but it's pretty hard for him. Last night I was getting some of my stuff from his place and we hugged goodbye and then we kissed and somehow we ended having sex. After the sex I was lying on his chest and he was stroking my hair, telling me how much he loved me and crying his eyes out. We stayed like that for a couple of hours. It was pretty bad

We had planned on staying friends, but I'm now thinking that maybe it's better if we cut contact. I love him so much and I want him in my life, but I don't want to hurt him any more than I already have.
  • Stay friends
    Vote A
  • Stay friends but keep your distance
    Vote B
  • Cut contact
    Vote C
  • See answers
    Vote D
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Most Helpful Girl

  • I truly believe time heals but if he keeps having you around , he will never get over you. He needs time and space to re discover himself in a new light , to make it through without having you by his side. It will hurt like crazy and he will be heartbroken fro weeks but its all for the best. You need to let go, because i doubt he will get over you if your there remaining him of how happy you guys were and when did it all went wrong. He needs a distraction not a constant remainder , if he sees you constantly it will make it harder for him, trust me. Don't try to be friends , just let it happen , it its meant to be it will. After he has seen he can survive without you and that what you two had was beautiful but not enough, you guys can be friends once again. My BF broke up with me with a text ( shameful and disrespectful ) and it took me forever to get over him because we had classes together and we would sit right next to each other , i could feel my heart breaking in two every time i would look into his eyes just remembering everything we went through , but after high school when i stopped seeing him completely i eventually forgot about him in that way. I love him still and probably always will because more than my bf he was my best friend which i cared for and loved and now after i had time to rediscover myself i can easily text with him like we did before we ever started dating. So give him time and space :) good luck A.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • Yup, got to agree with you there. And it goes both ways. Give it some months, and see if you find back together as friends. If not, don't try to force it.

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What Guys Said 5

  • cut contact if he can't accept that your breaking up and you think that the above is going to happen again then it's best to keep your distance and let him get over you otherwise he will always see an opportunity or chance to get back what he thinks he wants, he needs time and a clear view of the landscape beyond you and his love for you so he can come to terms with the fact that though he will never not love you and you will never not love him, the timing just isn't right

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  • if you love each other can't you work things out? if not as i dont fully know your circumstances. cutting contact is the best option, if you are human remaining friends will hurt alot.. it did for me anyway goodluck :)

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  • It depends on the level of maturity in the people involved, and the severity of the breakup. The majority of people are probably better cutting contact, because the majority of people are ridiculously immature.

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    • That's completely ridiculous. They don't want to remain friends, because what's the point? Why would you want to see them date other people after you've broken up?

    • Perhaps you still really care for each other, but you're moving in different directions in life? Perhaps you've found you're sexually incompatible, but still want to see each other be happy, and consider yourselves friends? There are a number of reasons for remaining friends after a breakup.

      As I said, however, most people are probably better cutting contact.

  • I think you might be doing him a favour if you don't have any contact with him, at least for a few months, let him adjust and get some sort of life back.

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  • IF YOU REALLY WANT TO MOVE ON THEN CUT ALL CONTACTS.

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What Girls Said 7

  • 1. We love each other a lot but for reasons I can't fully explain I just don't want to be with him anymore.

    2. I love him so much and I want him in my life

    First know what you want stay in his life or get out.. after that ask if you want stay friends or cut the contact..

    You can't leave and stay in the same time..

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  • idk.. every time I stayed in contact with my exes it always went bad. Sometimes becoming friends with an ex is like asking kidnappers to stay in touch

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  • Cut contact, at least for now, especially since he is still really hurting. It seems cruel, but keeping in touch will only do more harm than good - he might feel like he still has a chance and it will be very hard for him (and you) to move on. Like others have said, if you're going to be friends, it will just happen. For now, don't force it, give yourselves some breathing room for the next while.

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  • Cut contact - its better cause if you stay friends - you'll never truly be able to move on -something or the other will be reminding you of time spent together etc

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  • I'm in your spot. What I did/am doing is to take a break from his contact for as long as I need then talk to him again.

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  • Its better to cut off contact with an ex. Plus my ex and I when we first met we never started off as friends we just decided to tie the knot, and plus we never got to know each other as friends, we met in middle school. It lasted for about 5 years and then he broke up with me out of the blue, he left me confused but I've healed. I would never be friends with an ex but then again I guess it would depend on the reason for the break up. But being friends with an ex is just weird awkward eye contact all that stuff just weird. I cut off all contact with my ex and its been 7 months and counting since he and I have talked. And plus you can gain feelings for that person again if you decide to be friends. And plus you'll get flashbacks from things you don't want to remember if you be friends, its possible. I just move on with my life, I have better things to do.

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  • its way better to cut contact after a breakup... staying friends with an ex can be a pain in the ass

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