"we will NEVER be together again"- love of my life?

he used to think I was his soul-mate & he was in love with me... he used to be crazy about me while i was a lot more aloof. after 4 years of bad timing we finally got together.

but it was horrible timing for me as i had just gone through a horrible break up... he helped me through it but i had insecurities stemming so deep i brought them into the relationship. for the past month he was pulling away... but i'd convince him to stay,... he'd stay... i'd cry and promise i'd work on my insecurities & he'd stay.

this time.

he said things he never said before, he is no longer in love has no desire to be in a relationship with me or at all. he says no matter how much time passes he will never want to be with me again. he says he still loves and cares for me but he wants me to move on... I let my insecurities ruin it and he doesn't see me the same. no matter what i say he will never want me back in a romantic way. he said he'd want to be friends but he doesn't think i can handle that so he wants me to get over him... so that maybe possibly int the future we could be on speaking terms but nothing further. He said all of this in the nicest way possible and he even stayed on the phone with me all day as i cried. i promised i'd change but he says i've made so many promises that even if he still had feelings for me like that he could never trust me to not be insecure...& that i can't handle my emotions.

this was the guy i thought was the one... and i allowed my insecurities to ruin it... he is a very serious guy and he wouldn't say those things unless he truly felt that way.

this break up was entirely my fault.. my insecurity made it toxic i know this is black and white... but if you once thought someone was your soul-mate... and the problem of insecurity was dealt with could that ever change? i know he was very clear about it but any feed back would be great.. any similar stories
Updates:
also on Saturday he has to bring me some stuff i left by him.. i got him to agree to hang out under the condition that and if he didn't feel anything whats so ever between us i'd leave him alone for good. but any tips on how to handle myself?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Same thing happened to me. Literally the same thing except she texted me she didn't have feelings for me and then literally never responded to any of my calls or texts. Everyone has insecurities, and yeah sometimes we need to work on them. But if that person was really in love with you they would work through it. But some peoples "loyalty stops when the benefits stop".

    He does care about you and have a love for you since he was willing to talk you through it and make sure you're alright. A lot of people don't get that option. But he's probably not in love with you that way anymore. Maybe one day again who knows but I wouldn't try to make him love you right now.

    Also as for saturday, I wouldn't act like your trying to get him back. Just be chill and try to hold it together. Being a sad emotional person will make him upset. Good luck!

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What Guys Said 1

  • "the problem of insecurity was dealt with "

    That's just it. How could you know it was dealt with unless you were in a relationship with them?
    And if you didn't know, you'd just be taking a chance. And he doesn't want to do that.

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What Girls Said 2

  • It must be really difficult and you probably feel awful! I'm so sorry for you!
    But I suppose if it was meant to be this wouldn't have happened? Also, he knew you were having problems and maybe given you some space before leaping into a relationship with you if he couldn't cope... Even though it sounds like you've both really tried maybe it wasn't supposed to be your happy ending.
    Also- I was talking about this with another member- maybe you have more than one soul-mate? So maybe this guy was A soul-mate for you? Maybe you missed your chance with this soul-mate... That can't be the end of it. You will have another chance if you open yourself to opportunity! He may not have been your soul-mate but it sounds like he was special to you. Give yourself some space and time to heal and find yourself another guy who you can love equally.
    I'm sorry about your break-up but I hope this might make you feel a little bit better. Good Luck!

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  • Most things happen for a reason. You'll find someone else if you allow yourself to have a positive mentality.

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