I have a question about my most recent break up and now we are back together after only a month and a half apart. I want to get more insight I guess?

Ok this is going to be a long one... My fiancee and I broke up on Sept 5th. Got back together on Oct 12. She dumped me out of no where and said she felt that I did not love her anymore and claimed I cheated on her. The truth was that yes I did back in March when I was at a conference in FL for my job, (I live in NY.) Anyway it was not right by any means but we did not have sex in like 3 weeks during that time due to many reasons, busy, our dog got it by a car, not really seeing each other much or kinda growing apart. Anyway so she dumped me and a week later I found out she was living with another guy already and they were in a relationship which she posted on her Facebook, I do not go on Facebook much anymore and my friends actually told me that and I did not even say anything to anyone because I thought we were just taking a break. It really really hurt me and I tried so hard to get her back but she gave me nothing. So I finally stopped trying and let her go. A week later she called me and said she could not take this anymore and she loved me and messed up. I was still mad so I said maybe another day we can talk but today I am busy. She begged and said please come to my work I want to see you. So I did. We spoke for a while and I told her I need my time now to think. She quit her job moved 3 hours away to her sisters. We spoke a few times for awhile until I just could not part ways with her and told her to come back. She is back and has been. My problem is that I can not stop thinking about her and the other guy that she just moved right in with. You have to understand too we have been together for 10 years. I am 29 she is 27. So to leave me and move right in with someone really haunts my mind and hurts. I know the decision is mine to make and I keep being told it was a rebound for her but should I just let this go since I am really the one who started all this really? Also not only did I cheat but I was also working a lot and did not make much time for her either


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What Girls Said 1

  • Firstly, two wrongs don't make a right. You have to understand that yes, she may have moved in with another guy but you were also in the wrong, as you cheated with her. If both of you guys want this to work, you both need to put the past behind you. It sounds like a great deal of damage was done on both sides, and only you and her can decide whether the relationship is salvageable or not.

    • I agree i actually told her that two wrongs dont make a right. In all honesty i did put work and friends before her so i know she felt unloved which is what she told me. For some reason i feel like she is coming back to me because she realizes that the guy she moved in with was not who she thought he was and is coming back to me only to do this again. My friends family her family never thought she would do this type of thing. So it is just so hard to swallow for me too. I want it to work and I also believe she does too but I can not stop thinking about that. I am trying to blovk it out but it comes right back when we are apart. I think I will just see how it goes and go from there but I do truly love her and I know she truly loves me too.

What Guys Said 1

  • I don't think a girl would just move right on in with someone else without actually knowing them really well especially if it's a relationship and you're in your late 20s she could of been cheating herself for all you know and that's why she moved in right away with him because they been connecting for a little while and than maybe once she moved in and it became official maybe she met the real guy and realized he wasn't for her and wanted you instead.

    That's my best guess on what happened and I am assuming that's your guess as well and I am pretty sure it's a good chance that's exactly what happened because I never heard of a girl in her right mind just move in with a guy right away in a fresh new relationship unless they have been already having a past such as dating behind your back since you were busy working etc.

    • Yes that was my thought too. She told me she did not sleep with him until she left me but did go on dates and kissed him while we were still together. I want it to work i just have to somehow block out that. She seems to be ok more quickly that i cheated but yes i cheated did not date or have a girl move in with me so for me it seems worst which is what everyone tells me even though they dont know how much i ignored her. Not done on purpose just i did not really think it was hurting her so much since she never really opened up to me about any issues even after being together for so long.

    • You both seemed to be in the wrong doesn't really matter who was worse but yeah it's really up to you and her if you both can move on from the past and stay together if not you're just going to keep running into problems and trust issues in the future.

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