For girls: a question about GIGS?

Hey girls, so just a quick question.. What's your opinion on 'Grass is greener syndrome'? Is it a valid feeling in long term relationships? I only ask as my ex girlfriend of 2 years and 4 months broke up with me at university as she wanted to she wanted to kiss other people or something similar and I was wondering if it was a common occurrence. I should note that we were each other's firsts also.
Just a quick update... I have also found out that she dates a boy (who she cheated on me with, even though her cheating on me said it made her realise how much she loved me...) so I was wondering whether this could possibly be a rebound? I'm glad she's happy of course as she's given me nothing but a perfect time throughout our relationship but of course, I do want her back! Just want girls opinions on GIGS or rebounds?


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What Girls Said 2

  • The grass is only greener where you water it.

    I think it's a delusion... you think the grass is greener but it rarely ever is as all relationships require work and have their own unique set (s) of problems.

    I feel that generally people who feel the grass is always greener on the other side have a lot of growing to do as an individual before entering a new relationship.

    • Okay, thank you for your input :)
      I feel as though where we've entered university, it's made her really want to see if it is.. but then I don't know why she would have entered another relationship so quickly. It's hard to explain, but I understand what you're saying! It's just all happened at once which is part of the reason why it hurts so much! Maybe she'll come back soon, maybe she won't, who knows, I guess in the mean time I have to improve myself.

    • Yes, I'd highly recommend focusing on yourself and your well-being. I understand you love her, but think about it, does true love include cheating? Nobody deserves to feel that way. Even if she did come back, do you really think you'd be able to trust her again?

    • I am doing just that! I'm improving my social skills with my flatmates, etc, and going out with them. Part of me feels that if she see's me out, having a good time with my flat then it might actually make her realise that I did want to go out clubbing with her (I'd never been before, but she knew I wanted to try at university) and it might stir something in her, but I realise that's most likely wishful thinking!
      I have thought about that. Surprisingly, I do still trust her.. obviously not as much, and if she came back to me, I would let her know that it was no-where near as much and she'd have a lot of work to do. I think what's most hurtful at the minute, that I'm getting over, is that we were each others' first.. and I'm pretty sure that since she's broken up (not even a month) she's had sex with this boy. Not 100%, but yeah. I'm getting over it but it's hurtful that she threw away our 'bond' so to speak, just to explore. It's her life though so I respect that!

  • Not sure why you would want her back given she has cheated on you and then left you to be with the very person she cheated on you with. I recommend you keep it moving. You seem like a nice guy so I don't get why you are so focused on being with a cheater?

    • I know it must seem silly to other people but it's incredibly hard to explain! I do honestly believe her when she said it was a mistake. It's just hard because we were literally all each other wanted, then university happened and all these new people came along and it just happened all at once. I respect her decision and respect her for having the strength to break up with a person she knew loved her to test the waters, so to speak, but it hasn't stopped me wanting her back or thinking about her. I realise how silly and trivial this must sound, and I know that given time, I will get over her, but it's still raw in my mind. I just don't understand why she specifically sends me pictures of them two or anything. I also don't want her getting hurt.. that boy cheated on his previous girlfriend twice and she's been cheated on before too by her ex boyfriend. I am trying to focus on moving, but it's so hard when she seems to be all that's on my mind!

    • You are way too sweet to deal with all of that. I hope you can move on and she leaves you alone. If she gets cheated on it's just the universe's way of payback, Best of luck and sorry you're going through it.

    • I know that given time I will move on, but she has such a special place in my heart it's unreal. I don't know how she seems to have moved on so quickly, or appear as if she doesn't care or whatnot, but heyho. I know it's payback but I honestly really don't want that for her! I care too much for her for her to be hurt, and she knows that. I am trying limited contact with her, but yeah.
      Thanks for your input :-)

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