My girlfriend wants a break to work on herself?

My girlfriend moved about three months ago several states away for reasons completely unrelated to me. I planned on moving to be with her but when it came to the week before I planned on moving, she told me that she needs time to work on herself and broke up with me. We've been together for longer than 4 years and we've had our ups and downs but we've never broken up like this.
She told me that her reasons were that she needed to work on herself; that she doesn't recognize or accept who she is. She wants to be able to make herself happy and work on herself instead of working on our relationship.
She told me that she still loves me and that she knows I still love her. She said this isn't about us, it's about her, as clique as that sounds I believe her.
We're both relatively young, in our early 20's; but we had plans for the future and couldn't deny the way we feel for each other.
She also said that sometime down the road we might get back together. I don't know if she means that or is just being nice because she knows how deeply in love with her I am. I want nothing more than to be with her.
The first day after the break, I was impulsive and acted emotionally; trying to contact her all the time and probably making myself look a little pathetic. She called me that night after getting home and we talked for half an hour about the things we need to work on individually.
I told her that I wouldn't blow up her phone anymore and I plan on limiting any communication between us. I told her we might talk on occasion and for her to work on what she needs to and find the answers she's looking for.
It's now day 2 after the breakup and we haven't spoken at all.
I told her that I'll wait for her to figure herself out but I can't wait forever. I want to give her the space she needs and then some; maybe she'll decide that what we had was right.
I'm willing to do anything to get her back in my life.
What can I do to get her back in my life? I just want to make her happy
I want to send her roses or something next week.
I'm also thinking about waiting a couple weeks and driving down close to where she is, staying in a hotel for a night or two, and just texting her the hotel and room number I'm at; leaving an extra room key at the desk. I want to give her a little time before that but I don't know what I can do without her. She's my soul mate.
Then, if she comes and see's me, that's great; and if not? I don't know what I'd do :/


Most Helpful Girl

  • I said the same exact stuff to my boyfriend after my freshman year of college. I thought I couldn't work on myself when I was with someone. I broke my best friends heart although we still talked everyday and were great friends. I don't want to freak you out at all because this is just my experience but I think subconsciously I also wanted to see other people. I loved my boyfriend, he was the best but I suppose it was getting boring just a bit. After I broke up with him I regretted it off and on. I ended up making out with one other kid about two months after the break up. It didn't feel right at all and I started to go back to my old boyfriend. I didn't tell him about making out with another person and he had to find out from someone else and then I had to cry and beg and humiliate myself just to get him to talk to me again. I eventually came crawling back to him but there are a lot of trust issues now and it'll never be the same as before. If I was you I'd fight for her even if it makes you pathetic. If she still wants to leave let her go but tell her that you won't waiting for her. Too much can happen and it can ruin everything. Time heals all wounds and you will get over it

    • I said the same thing to my ex-fiance of 4 years. We had pushed so far through so much shit I was just sick of the relationship and wanted to be free of it. I still miss and love her but honestly I am not sure I would go back.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Let her go. If it's meant to be it will happen when the time is right. Part friendly so there might be a chance in the future. She's trying to tell you nicely what she wants.

  • One of my best guy friends was with his gf for 4 years before she decided she wanted to take a break. He said hell no, if you want a break, we're breaking up and that's it. So they ended it. He was devastated, cried about it, etc. But he cut her off completely, even when she begged for another chance. The thing is, there are no breaks, and asking for one is BS. Either you're in or out, no in betweens.

    • :) I am constantly amazed at how that reverse psychology works. I can not name how many times I dated someone they end it and I agree and cut them off only to have them banging down my door.

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