Girlfriend dumped me to make herself happy first before making someone else happy?

We are both under 20 and at first I lived 10 hours away and I came to visit here numerous times even bought her $90 roses on Valentine's day even though we weren't dating. She is the coolest girl I've ever met she loves zombies and horror movies but she was still very romantic and so much fun it was like we were both kid best friends when we were together. We did everything together I payed for it all willingly from expensive dinners and movies and trips to the lakes and got food when she needed it. I did everything she wanted even if it was inconvenient. We talked about being together forever getting married and kids and all that stuff. We loved eachother unconditionally. She had problems with friends so we were eachothers bestfriends all summer. we are both loners. Lately we have both been stressed with school and have had fighting problems and she claims nothing feels the same and this has literally been only a week of it. Before that week she was learning handwriting with my last name with her name. So this week we barely saw each other and when we did we fought and one day I spilled my heart saying how I am sorry and I promise to be better to her and not get annoyed and mad and such and she didn't answer at all. I got really upset and deleted her off stuff I thought its obvious her decision is to end us. I shouldn't have assumed. But she asked the next day if she just got dumped and me being upset said yes I didn't mean it. Then she not listening to my side claimed we are over and that she needs time to think. 2 days later she texts me saying it's over and the 'spark' is gone has been for a while which I know she was normal a week ago. And she needs to be happy first before making someone else happy. But get this she said we aren't getting back together it will be a new person. I'm absolutely crushed and she won't answer my texts or anything. She put up a pic of her smiling yesterday. She doesn't seem upset. what do I do? I want her back. Together 7 months.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well... if you really want her back... you should confront her face to face and explain what you REALLY wanted to say. Then tell her your feelings when she's SINGLE. You guys were childhood friends, so you should know what to say to her. Just listen to your heart (I know it's cheesy), and you'll know what to do. Texting won't solve everything. If you keep doing so, you'll be seen as desperate. And you have to seem confident but kind.

    Good Luck.

    • Thanks a lot that really helps me! Any idea the best way to do that as of right now she will only read my texts and won't answer should I just show up with flowers or something? I just really don't want her to freak out that I show up at her house.

    • Show All
    • Thanks again, tried getting her to see me but no luck at all even bought flowers but ended up having to leave them on her door step she surprisingly didn't throw them out.. But texted her again and she gave lots of mixed messages and contradicted everything she said with no second chances and how she didn't feel anything for me so honestly I found out what I needed to know that she really is mixed up right now so I'm just going to give her space. She clearly wants to drag this her own way it's out of my hands I've tried it all she only gets more angry. But thanks for all the advice hopefully she figures herself out soon and realizes what she is doing. And cheers to you for being smart haha this is only my second serious relationship break up in 2 years both in the last 2 October's.

    • Aw, I'm sorry to hear that... hopefully she does see what kind of situation she's getting into, but if she still refuses, then there are plenty of fish in the sea. Sorry to jump from A-Z, but just remember that. It sounds like she's fighting her own demons at the moment, so until she calms down, distract yourself. Spend time with family, do sports, etc... but I wish you luck. :)

Most Helpful Guy

  • You bought 90$ roses when you two werent dating. No wonder she broke up with you.

    • Considering I made over $4000 grand a month yeah I did.. Seemed to work good for a while buddy

    • I meant, you could spend it on something else. Like clothes or dinner or accessories.
      Can buy victoria secret for her :D

    • Trust me man flowers wasn't the only thing I bought.. I could make you a giant list filled with jewelry, expensive dinners, clothes everything under the sun man haha

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • I think it's either she doesn't want you anymore so she's making that as an excuse to break up with you or she really isn't happy about herself and she wants some space to put her shits together before pushing through with your relationship.

    • I'm really hoping its the second thing you said considering last week she was fine but its anyone's guess. Thank you!

    • If that's what you're hoping then you gotta wait. Go with the flow.

  • Give her space.

    • Should have listened to yours from the start

What Guys Said 1

  • thats bitches man. no matter how much you do for them sometimes they just go cold and split on you. thats why you dont get too attached. they're fun to be around, they're fun to f***, but they're not special, none of em are. always remember than man, let this be a lesson