Ending long term relationship over sex?

I have been with my gf for 6 years and I'm beginning to have my doubts. Not because I don't love her, she is amazing and I could never see myself without her, it's just that she rarely wants to have sex with me and when we do its a quick in and out. I would say we have done in twice in the past 3 months.

The no sex is beginning to eat at me, I could handle it before but lately my sex drive is so high I'm lying in bed at nights till the early hours not being able to sleep.

I asked myself is my fault that we aren't having sex? So i started to make a real effort in our relationship to show her how much I love her and to do as many jobs about the house. These days I have the house cleaned before she even gets out of bed, and I'm home from work before her so I spend my spare time doing things that will make her evening easy. I started to really try to seduce her in the bedroom, but after a couple or minutes I don't even get an excuse just a flat no.

So then I decided I'll going to try make her aware of my needs, so the past few days I've just came flat out and said I want sex, tell her when I'm horny and how much I want her, again just get a flat out no, sometimes I just get a sigh.

When sex happens it's about once every month or two, very late at night and only when she says she wants it. This isn't good enough for me, I want an exciting sex life, were my gf regularly wants me. I can't even try to make an effort, a while back I booked us a night in a top hotel and she feel a sleep watching TV.

If I try talking to her she explodes, I get told that I keep bringing this up and she doesn't want to her it. I honestly don't think she realises how much it is harming our relationship. I love her so much, but I need some excitement.

I'm torn, can anyone give me some advice?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Does she even love you anymore? When I stop loving a man I avoid sex.

    I live my boyfriend, and whenever he's horny I have sex with him even if I'm not at all in the mood for it. I di it for him!

    It's not your fault. You sound like an amazing boyfriend. You just deserve better than this. Think about when you're married and you will never be able to have sex again because she doesn't want to and you don't cheat? It sould be terrible. Sex should be excited in a healthy relationship, not boring. If I'm you I would break up. 6 years id better than 60 years of no sex (or twice a year) :/

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    • I feel like I have so much to give in a relationship but I'm getting no love back. If she knew I was thinking of leaving her she would flip.

    • Communication is the key. Sit here down and tell her how you feel. Tell her you have a high sex drive and would want to be with someone who can fulfill your need. That's how relationship works! Finding someone who's companion. You meet their needs and they meet yours. Unfortunately your girlfriend doesn't seem to be capable to fulfill your need. Just tell her how you feel, if she doesn't DO IT FOR YOU then you deserve someone who will.

    • People in a long term relationship tend to stick to each other despite they're displease because it's the easiest way, hence it's NOT the best way. You only live once, find "the one".

Most Helpful Guy

  • What you'r experiencing is normal. Women will do this, and typically turn off the sex at about 4 years, sometimes less. They can't stay physically attracted to one man for much longer that that, and it's instinctive. Some will take a little longer and only about 20% are actually good for a long term relationship,
    Here's why:www.macleans.ca/culture/books/the-two-year-itch/
    Get used to it. You hae to trade them in about every 4 years, if you want to have a sex life for the rest of your life. After you've traded about 4 in, you might be lucky and find one of those 20%. Don't count on it, because they stayed with the first man they fell in love with and all got used up in their 20s.

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What Girls Said 3

  • She is very selfish. she shouldn't just think about herself but also about your needs. Whenever i'm not in the mood i still feel like i should do it. Simply because my body isn't only mine no more. If you want to keep your partner happy then you gotta satify their needs. In your case its pretty sad because i'm sure you love her and don't want to break up. You guys need to work it out. otherwise it doesn't make much sense to continue something that makes you unhappy. Tell her

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  • I went through this with my bf we were together since I was 15. In my case, I just didn't enjoy the sex with him. He always wanted me and I didn't care for it. I was busy with school and work while he did extracurricular activities. I lost the attraction to him and then lost the sexual attraction. I felt terrible but wasn't sure on how I could fix it. I tried for as long as I could.

    She may have other things on her mind and the best way to find out is to bring it up like your concerned, don't be aggressive toward the topic and find what lies beneath. I broke up with him after 9 years, I didn't want to hurt him and be in a relationship I wasn't happy in anymore.

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  • Ur not alone, I have the same problem with my bf

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