Ex girlfriend still has feelings for me but says she loves her new boyfriend too much?

My ex and I dated for a year. We had the perfect relationship until that one year hump. I got too comfortable and took her for granted. She was also texting another guy around that time "as friends". Well two weeks after we broke up they start dating. One month after dating they start saying " I love you". Two weeks after that he has moved in with her. I didn't even move in with a year of dating. They both seem to be moving on a little too quick. Well we have been broken up for about 3 months now and for the last 2 weeks she's been texting me when she's not around him. We've been telling each other that we love each other several times too. We work together FYI. Well on Halloween she asks our coworkers if everyone wants to go to a haunted house. I said no at first then she begged me to go. She rode with me and it was just us. The first time we had alone time since the break up. On the way home we played a game where we would go back and forth saying something that we really like about the person. It was obvious that there is still a lot of feelings between us. She started telling me about how I've been in a lot of her dreams the last month. When she was doing that she grabbed my hand and held it the rest of the way home. The next day she told a girl at work that she thought I was playing with her head and she didn't know what to think about me because she's really happy with her new boyfriend. Two days after that she texts me saying that she told her boyfriend and "the only time you are going to see or speak to me is at work because he means too much to me for anything to mess it up".
I know her bf didn't like it and probably told her that she was never allowed to talk to me again. It really hurt to get shot down after there clearly still being a connection and us having much more history than the new bf. I don't want to move on quiet yet. I'll wait around a little if you think I have a chance still. Would no contact again help? Anything would help. Thank you.


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What Girls Said 2

  • Sometimes there are situations, where there was a point in time you could have solved issues and things would have worked out. Its clear that she has feelings for you and you have feelings for her but trust has been destroyed, and once trust is destroyed things cannot work out smoothly no matter how much you want them to. If you are addicted to the drama and the crap treatment, by all means insist on dating her, get her gifts etc and dont take no for an answer.

    But once you have her, I can bet all my cards that you won't be interested for marriage or anything long term and that those intense feelings you have at this moment will fade. Why? Because the human brain and human emotions are extremely complex and right now you feel you love her cause she is with someone else and your male ego wants to prove to itself that you are better than the other guy etc etc etc. Once you have her, you will never be able to trust her, your subconscious won't let you love her in the deep way you are supposed to love a significant other.

    Why am I saying this? I am dating a guy that I was really really into for YEARS. I waited for him to be single and for him to ask me out and now that I have the possibility to date him, I have this awful gut feeling that is telling me that he is untrustworthy. Why? Because when he asked me out years ago, he was still together with someone else, I rejected him and he responded by sending his gf to my office to pick up his last pay check. I still have that image and I can't get rid of it no matter how much i want him to work.

    My advice is be aware that your feelings at this moment, is your male hunter ego talking and not genuine feelings of love, cause love can't be had unless you really trust the person.

    • That's the thing, I don't know if I would be able to trust her if were to get back together. I trusted her 100% when we were together but after all the heartache and pain.. I do love her but I think you have a point about my ego. I've never liked her new boyfriend and he's a prick. I just need to forget her and move on as hard as that is going to be to do..

    • Good on you! You are taking a strong Alpha male attitude here. Lesson here is that you should play the field and dont give your trust too easily to any girl. Let them earn it. Have fun and do stuff that will keep your mind off her while you get over it.

  • I feel like she's in a rebound relationship, those never work.

    • I thought about that myself but the way she's acting says that she's dome with me and I need to move on anyways. I can't stay on her back burner in case they don't work out.

    • Exactly, that's a good outlook. Do no contact until she contacts you.

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