What does 'we work better this way' mean after almost 4 years?

Long story short: My ex of around 4 years broke up with me, we live together, still act like a couple, sleep in the same beds (even though we have 2 bedrooms), etc. Today I tried talking to him and I told him how I felt, what I've changed (what caused the break up was me nagging). He said we work better this way (acting like a couple but without the title?). Then I continued to tell him I don't want a 'title' to ruin what we have going, and that I want to make us work blah blah blah. This is the first time he's actually willingly let me open up without getting angry or annoyed (step in the right direction?). What does he mean? He didn't say no to getting back together, he just says he doesn't know right now, and that right now we work better split up, but acting like a couple.
(ps neither of us can move out until June when our lease is up).
Before he left me (we broke up about 2 months ago), he wanted to spend forever with me and I don't know what to do. We clicked since the day we met.


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What Guys Said 2

  • I can't say for sure. But my cynical side tells me that 'we work better this way' is an excuse for him to two-time unofficially.

    Of course that's a totally baseless unfair judgement, but that's what my intuition tells me.

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    • No that's what I always got from it too. But I know for a fact he isn't seeing anyone (he's always at home, never goes out, etc). But I feel like he's just stringing me along until he finds someone else?

    • That's also possible. He might just want someone to have a 'relationship' with until he finds someone else.

      But I wouldn't be mad at him for that, exactly... if it bothers you just stop pretending to be a couple, but I wouldn't be offended. It's not nearly as bad as if he was two-timing.

    • Thats true

  • So you knew what caused the break up... your constant nagging.
    but here i am reading this
    "i tried talking to him, told him how i felt, what I've changed" also this
    "Then i continued..."title".. what we have going... make us work.. blah blah blah"
    If i were in his shoes, i'd see that as nagging. poor guy needs space to make a final decision (i will come to that) and you keep harping in his ear. The fact that he didn't just split with you totally means he does want to make it work. he stayed 4 years already.. now he put you in the decision zone to make up his mind if this (you and well your watever habits) is what he wants to spend the rest of his life with or if he is better off with someone else and 4 years is wasted.
    Give him space... let him sort his thoughts... he'll make his decision and your constant wanting to talk.. was the reason you are here in this situation in the first place. Think about it.

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    • Wow I actually never thought of it like that. I guess I'm not as desperate for him to take me back but I still am nagging. What do you think I should do? Like how do I act around him?

    • Go about your business. I just talked to someone whose bf walked out every time she wanted to "talk". Girls never seem to get that guys aren't "talk"ers and when we have had enough, we can either leave or if we really don't want to lose time spent (in your case, 4yrs) and the other good parts. We call time out (which he did) while we measure if the pros are really worth the cons. and for every time you harp in his ear, you reinforce the reason why he is even having to measure anything and increase the cons side of the list.

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