I left my drug addicted and abusive partner 2 days ago. At times I feel great and other times I feel so upset. I knew my partner since I was 16 (I'm 30 now). We were on and off as lovers for many years until we decided to be together. We were together for over 1 year and his drug addiction to Ice got worse. We lived together for about 8 months. He got fulltime custody of his 3 boys under 5, so he's a fulltime father but I took over responsibilty and he did nothing but smoke crack all day everyday then he would sleep for days and become really moody, rude and violent. We were soo close for the first 6 months when he was only on it once every few weeks and then he got carried away and just smoked his brains out and I spent nights alone in bed all night while he stayed up with friends who came and gone. He showed me how much he cared and told me all the time, he brought me gifts and text me poems but didn't spend any time with me. I told him for months that if he didn't give it up, I would leave. He tried a few times, longest was 2 weeks then he would start again. He told me he would cut down and eventually stop, but then smoke even more. I love him and miss him soo much, I just couldn't stay. If he really loved me and his children he would stop. I'm currently 7 weeks pregnant with his child and he knows, he was soo happy. I keep telling him that I want him to be involved in our baby's life and he doesn't answer, I get the feeling he does not want to be apart of it. Any advice or words of comfort please? Do you think he needs time to think?
Most Helpful Girl
Sometimes you have to walk away and let people make their own mistakes. It's quite obvious that he isn't that engaged with his existing children so I wouldn't hold out much hope for him being a perfect father for your child. We can all try our hardest to help the ones we love but quite often they don't want to change, and until they do it will be virtually impossible to get him to stop. You just need to do what's best for you and that child which probably means leaving him completely. Your staying isn't helping, but maybe your leaving will.2