I need help with this situation please?

my girlfriend broke up with me 2.5 months ago and started seeing someone two weeks later, we have had limited contact science, only initiated by her. i asked if she would like to meet for a coffee and she said yes, but when i asked when she was free she took time to reply and sent this message back, "hey, sorry for not getting back to you, just been thinking about meeting up and worried it might not be such a good idea yet.. could make things worse. i totally respect if you do want to meet for coffee next week though xx" seems like she does want to meet but can't, I'm confused!!! help!!! i love her and miss her so so much.
Updates:
what should i say back? I'm so cut up by this!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • She may have had a change of mind, a change of heart because she has done some serious soul searching an is afraid This little encounter with Coffee for two may stir up a bees nest that she is not ready to deal with yet. Wit this, she may be scared that her heart will begin to unravel and all of a sudden everything might happen so quickly for the most part that you both end up in a bird's nest again or even a friends with benefits factor that she doesn't really want neither.
    I believe she misses the kisses and I know you do too. However, I think she is having second thoughts because she is afraid of all the repercussions and is not ready nor raring for this right now.
    Good luck. xx

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • thankyou, do you think i should reply? and what should i say?

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    • i just text her ok, I'm so sad. i have lost my best friend.

    • Time to move on, sweetie... she has someone now and having asked for coffee then reneged, she just had a change of heart. xx

Most Helpful Guy

  • She has NO desire to get back with you. If you want to meet for coffee fully understanding this, then go for it.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • so you think there is no possible chance of getting her back?
      oh man, I'm so down at the moment. i really love her, and this break up has made me realise it more than ever!

    • Likely there is not a chance. Sorry you're hurting, but it's time to move on.

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What Girls Said 6

  • She probably backed out because she is seeing someone else. And since she broke up with you she probably just wanted to make sure you were doing okay. Don't be surprised if she blows you off next week. Seems like she might be talking to you to clear her conscious of breaking up with you but has no plans to actually follow through.

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  • Maybe she wants to be your friend because even if she might not want to be in a relationship, she can still appreciate your friendship. It's possible that she loves you, but maybe not as a lover anymore but a friend :) I think she is worried to ruin the future friendship you might have

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    • i don't know what to do with myself, I'm a mess! i really miss her, she seemed so keen to meet up in the first text. i know i made silly mistakes when we were together for two years plus 3 years of being friends. this new guy is a knob as well. and i really am not just saying that because I'm bitter. she sounds confused too.

    • I suspect that she is confused about how to be friends with you without ruining things or hurt you, I'm not saying I am correct but I give you my opinion and you can do what you want with it :)

  • She sounds uncomfortable. No, I don't think meeting her is a good idea, unless she asks for the meeting.

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  • She needs time to sort out her feelings. How long were you togethwr

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    • we were together for 2 years, i left her alone and she contacted me. we have been friends for a long time and were sleeping together on and off for a year before we finally got together. we share a lot of mutual friends too, which is even harder. perhaps she will realise she let something really good go, but I'm not holding my breath.

    • Girls almost always come back when they see their ex moving on. If they know you're there, they will take advantage of that while they can. You need to move on, and let her initiate all communication.

    • I'm trying, i have had some crazy stuff going on in my life since the break up, i booked a flight to china to visit a friend, but 2 days later received a call from a well known game show saying I'm on it! i had to abandon my trip losing £600 in a gamble to go on the show. its been a roller coaster 2 months. But i would give it all up for her. thank you so much for replying it means a lot. i feel so lonely right now.

  • I've been in the very same spot as her. I broke up with a guy, and he kept asking to meet again. The only way he could move on was me walking out of his life. Seeing him as if nothing was wrong would be like rubbing salt in the wound.

    She broke up with you and found someone else. She probably doesn't consider getting back with you.
    You need to move on, make your life without her.
    I advise asking her to leave you alone. Cut all ties, and let you get over her. No coffee, no meeting, nothing. Yes, it's hard, but it's for your own good. You want her in your life as a girlfriend, but she doesn't. She probably just wants to check to see if you're alright, but it's not her job anymore. It's not fair of her to expect you to keep seeing her as a friend while knowing you want more. It's selfish.

    Cut her out, get busy. It'll fade slowly and you will be able to get over her.
    Good luck.

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    • (I just realised : I didn't imply you keep askyng to meet her, it's what happened in my situation ^^' )

  • Honestly, it sounds like she does not want to. If she broke up with u, and is dating someone else, then you're a door she wants closed--at least for now. I know break ups are shitty and painful beyond understanding, but let this girl miss you, and stop trying with her.

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    • yeah, i know i should leave her alone, but she contacted me first, i was doing ok until then! then some mutual acquaintances convinced me to ask her for coffee! and now all this has set e way back to square 1!

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    • i can't bare the thought of never seeing her or talking to her agin, she is so special to me, we had a great relationship and were so good together, so i thought anyway! i can't believe she could just toss me away like this for a guy she barely knows. should i reply? and what do i say?

    • I wouldn't reply. I mean, what else could you say besides "okay"?

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