She is terribly mad and I need advice on how to help my situation?

I recently had a breakup with a fiance. Our relationship got stagnate and things fell apart for us. I continued to fight for her and was starting to win the battle. She was starting to see that I really did care to save the relationship.

The other night ago something happened to something she had bought for her biological father. It was a ring and for some reason she got it in her head that I took it. I didn't and cannot seem to convince her otherwise. It sent me on an emotional roller coaster because there is nothing worse than being accused of something and you being completely honest about it and not get believed. I have had issues with a few white lies in the past and this has strained the trust but did not completely break it.

I took some time away from the house because we still live together due to our current financial situation. When I got home, I wanted to talk about things. She had threatened that if the ring did not return she would be leaving as soon as possible. It bothered me and sent me further into the emotional roller coaster that I had already been riding. She was unresponsive to wanting to talk about anything. I guess I should have given it a little more time. I fell and I fell hard after her refusal to talk and grabbed her phone and the keys to our vehicle (I pay for both). I told her that if she wanted out then she would lose all the things that go along with it. I didn't mean it and didn't even realize what I was doing until about 15 minutes after I had started doing it. I caught myself doing what I had done and stopped. She had started packing a bag and had woken her daughter up to do the same, but did not leave. I gave a big and sincere apology the next day (yesterday) to her and her daughter and promised that it would never happen again. I didn't get much response from either of them. I left it at that. Later in the evening she was ready to talk but I was still emotional.
Updates:
*CONTINUED* She pressed to say some things. She brought up the ring again and said she could tell how I was lying about it. I explained that if I had the ring or if I had taken it, I would definitely have given it back to keep her here and not go through all this pain. I told her that my emotions were still not in check and my head was very cloudy. I didn't think talking would be beneficial. She let me know that she would never be able to forgive me for what I had done the night before.
She said me trying to leave her high and dry with nothing had crossed the line. I would have never did that to her and I don't know what was going through my mind but it will never happen again. I don't 100% believe that there are things in life that are unforgivable. She claims that she does not even want to talk to me anymore. After a 5 year relationship that was close to marriage, I don't see how you could not just talk to that person no matter the circumstance.

0|0
22

Most Helpful Girl

  • We all have our tough times and shitty moments but even I would flip shit if my man were to try to take all that away and kick us out or leave like that. It would be incredibly hard to just forgive and forget that, it would always be something in the back of my mind anytime we have a serious fight. All I can say is just keep trying to win her back and prove your loyalty to the family, don't lie to her as that has screwed you over before and still is.

    0|1
    0|0
    • Yes, but I acted out and didn't realize what I was doing. Trust me, I WOULD NEVER have went through with that nor would I ever do that to them, or well anyone for that matter. I acted out of fear. I know that I will not ever make the mistake again. The thing is, we never have serious fights. So do you have any advice on how long I should give her to cool down? I don't know if you read the comments below but they were continued from the original post due to the character limitations placed on each post and me not being able to get it all into the original. I think the ones below are backwards so you have to read the last one then the next to last one to see the questions I have, Thank you for your response and encouragement to keep trying! I don't plan on ever giving up on them!

    • You shouldn't give up on them and as for how long to give her I'm really not sure. You know her better than I would. How long does it usually take her to cool down after a fight? If it was me it would probably take me a week of fuming about it before I decided to talk it out.

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • With or without the ring thing, this was just the topping to the not so sweet cake that has now broke the camel's back and with it, the bough has broken your 5 year bond and I do not see any relief in sight. You had this other breakup and it was a rough road until you even had to Prove yourself Then and Now you are once Again-----Being accused unjustly, Fighting tooth and nail to fight for her love, trust and this relationship once more that is really at stake for sure.
    I see a pattern starting, sweetie. Today it is the ring, tomorrow it will be something else. And no mater what happens that you try and do to keep this little love nest happy and cozy, it will be a Triangle Threesome, full circle pattern on An-----Emotional roller coaster going down a beaten path. It's the said, she said, War of the Roses. And if the ring doesn't show up, it will be the train wreck that crashed and burned, making This the Deal breaker that finally gave You the raw deal and raw end of the stick, my friend.
    Make your arrangements to move out of the house and until she is able to get on her feet with her own new plans that she will need to make for her and her child, help her out. I see she also needs professional help, for all the stress and strain for however long this battle of the bulge ha sbeen going on, has made her a total mess, not thinking straight. This environment is not healthy for Any of you and it is best to leave and not go on with the back and forth playing ball that will never end, no one really winning in the end Nor anyone coming to any deciding factor for the future.
    Consider this a blessing in disguise that you never took that walk down the toil and trouble isle of wedlock lane.
    Good luck. xx

    0|0
    0|1
    • I am not sure how much I believe all this nor do I think you read the follow ups to my posts down below. It is not something I am willing to give up on. It isn't just a 5 year relationship that is at stake. It is a 26 year friendship on top of that. She has started to come around already and change some of the things she was saying. I just needed some positive advice and this is an isolated incident. We rarely have fights or disagreements. No relationship is perfect not is any friendship for that matter. I don't think this is the straw that broke the camels back. She is just mad. She has went from I never want to forgive you to I am not going to be able to forgive or get over this over night.

    • I rest my case, a grudge bearer to boot... this is showing me she will constantly throw this ring up in your face, never let you live it down and this is NO way to live, long term or not, even if you have known her 100 years. It's your call if you want to hang in there and try with her. But as I say it is the ring today, awhile ago you had to fight to get back into her good graces and now what is it tomorrow? She is mentally unstable in some ways and with all the stress, I se it... I do believe it won't get better and just because things a while ago were hunky Dorey, it is now a war of the roses and may just continue down a beaten path... hope I helped put a small light on the subject. xx

    • Nothing you say or so will ever be right and with this ring thing it is showing me she thinks you are a liar, she can't trust nor forgive you. xx

What Guys Said 2

  • *CONTINUED* She said me trying to leave her high and dry with nothing had crossed the line. I would have never did that to her and I don't know what was going through my mind but it will never happen again. I don't 100% believe that there are things in life that are unforgivable. She claims that she does not even want to talk to me anymore. After a 5 year relationship that was close to marriage, I don't see how you could not just talk to that person no matter the circumstance.

    0|0
    0|0
  • *CONTINUED* I plan on giving this some time to cool down and let her get the things in her head worked out while I do the same. I don't believe any of the things she has said are genuine and have been said out of anger and being hurt, How much time is the appropriate amount before I try to re-initiate contact with her? Does anyone think there is hope for reconciliation of our love once things cool down? Does anyone feel like her saying she isn't willing to forgive a reaction out of anger and being hurt?

    0|0
    0|0

Recommended myTakes

Loading...