More than friends but not officially dating?

Long stories short, I met him while we were both travelling. We're both from very different countries (I live in Asia and he now lives in Africa). As he was still travelling Asia, he has made two visits, once for a layover and another time for about ten days.

His second visit was good memory to both of us. It is also during this period he gave me a teddy bear, which we later on view him as "our son". This changed my initial perception that this is only going to be just a summer fling to the thinking that he might actually wish to date.

When he left for home more than two months ago, he told me that "I'm sorry I cannot provide for you" and "Good bye summer fling, don't replace me too quickly". It was very difficult, but eventually when he got home, we kept in touch until today.

However some time two weeks ago, I think it's time I figure out where I stand with him. We cannot consistently be talking like we're bf-gf but not agreeing on anything. So I told him that we cannot continue stringing each other along and after some hesitation (which in the meantime, he did express that it sucked for him), he decides that we should just stay as friends.

There was some dramas subsequent to this, we had few days of no contact, then we tried to talk as friends, but we eventually came to realize we really don't just want to be friends (his actions and words have both showed to this). I really wish he would move us for a long distance relationship, but he was just too logical and thinks that there will be nothing coming out of this. Words weren't nicely put and we had the biggest fight ever.

We apologized to each other, I still gave him a virtual hug and told him once again I'm sorry for saying terrible things. He has not been replying.

I decided to give him some alone time so he can figure things out in his head. I do think he has feelings for me, but I just can't understand why this isn't working out? Solely due to the distance between us?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • well long distance is hard because u never know what the other person is really up to its hard to stay commited because u both can't provide each other with what a normal relationship can im not saying its impossible its just really hard and you both need to decide how much u like each other if it was me and i wasn't sure id just let it be and what eva happens happens but if i was sure id make the effort and one month id go to where he is and the next month for a week he goes where u are until u are absaloutly comfortable in certain in your relationship then i would look at moving to where he is it just depends though how much do u really like him so ask yourself that

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    • Thanks for proposing. Unfortunately, neither of us are able to travel to each other at least in the coming two years (due to work and/or financial reasons) but I really do hope our paths would somehow cross again. I do like him enough to forget about all other guys whom I can date locally (I do have lawyers, engineers and pilots trying to date me, just trying to illustrate).

    • where there's a will there's a way u never know what will happen if its meant to be it will be im sorry i can't be of more help if it was me and this guy was the guy im currently in love with id be like yup where are you find me a place to stay ill find a job and ill be there asap and be there in a minute but like i sed just depends how into him are you

    • haha maybe not that! but maybe we can both relocate together to a new country :) but it seems he's not willing to do LDR and it still kinda sucks to both of us. I just wish I could at least convince him first :(

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What Guys Said 1

  • OMG i can relate so much to this i know a girl and we have known each other for nearly all our lives but she had to move away for her own reasons (before i could tell her i had a crush on her :() but i kept in touch with her online and we talk and flirt a lot and we both feel like were more than friends but nothing has been made offical its a very awkward situation

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    • I really do think it sucks :( Mine is half a globe apart. We admitted to having feelings to each other, but he refuses to do LDR :( Really wish he would take that leap of faith!

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