I was doing good in life until my ex showed up... Advice to get over it?

I broke up with my ex about a year ago because she was suffocating me with our relationship and draining my happiness. It's been a while since then, she's grown up and matured a lot and I found this attractive. We started talking again as friends about 2 months ago which soon ended up in us somewhat dating again but we didn't put a label on it. I am the kind of guy who is kind of an ass to date ex: not calling back, not texting for days, hanging out with my friends more than her, but it pays off because I can be very sweet and sincere and girls just love it. I haven't had any luck trying it any other way. Things were going good, but this time the tables turned. She starts to use my technique and man... It works and I don't like feeling vulnerable. Now I find myself attempting to contact her multiple times a day, lonely, vulnerable, desperate. That's not the man I once saw in the mirror and I want it to stop NOW!

I started going out to meet girls only to get rejected 10 times a night and coming home alone and defeated. The ones I do get a date with are so meaningless and a waste of time. My game is off now because I am no longer having fun, but just doing it to get over my ex and fill in a void. She has dudes all over her and it's bothering me how easy it is for a girl to use that to her advantage. This never bothered me before, I actually encouraged her to date other guys when we broke up, but now I can't help feeling like I want her back. I know this may all be an illusion I'm falling for only to get me back into a terrible relationship that I may end up breaking up with again.

I need support guys and gals!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Ughh im in the same position only it's reversed when I was with my bf he was soooo in love with me, but due to trust issues he broke up with me, now I'm constantly trying to get back with him but he says he's not ready.. him n I still kiss etc but I find myself wanting him more than when we were together. He even got with another girl (every said she was ugly n more rebound girl) they lasted less than 2mths. Ask yourself are you trying to get back with her because it's a challenge or you just dnt like the feeling of getting turned down? If you really like her slowly win her back it's not going to happen right away at the same time realize that you shld always make sure you know what u want because u never know when that person may be gone for good

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    • I agree don't get her back just cause it's a challenge or you're lonely cause then you are just being yourself and get more emotional harm long term

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    • I'm glad I can help.. but yah if u broke up with her 3xs already take the time to right down what u do like about her and what u can't stand and see of what u named on the cnts if they can be fixed or they r really going to annoy u in the long run if bad out weighs good than make ur decision but remember this decision can be forever so make sure you do what you absolutely know you are certain of. As for me everyone tells me to be a bit distant from my guy because he knows I'm always around that's why he doesn't make the decision to commit and when I try to be distant maybe than he will realize what he's missing out. He's something else tho I've even told him b4 if he cnt commit ima distance myself and he tells me not to. It sucks because i love him so much and nothing more wld mean more to me than to know he is mine and I his.

    • You gave the best advice so far, but you can't follow your own. That is a problem with sincere people. You should listen to yourself and do you. You sound like a great person and I believe you should give yourself some time off from him. Delete his number if you have to. Hang out with your friends and family because they help A LOT, build an aquarium, do some squats, work that butt and put up some twerk videos on Vine. Be a better you. Time and distractions are the best remedy in me opinion.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Why do you think it might now be a terrible relationship? do u love her?

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    • Everytime I get back with an ex I always end up realizing why I broke up with them in the first place. "Maybe it will be different this time?" You can love anyone if they know how to pull on your heart strings. People can change their habits but not their person.

    • I know you're in a unique position cause you obviously care about her otherwise it would t be so difficult for you but make sure you don't settle and its not fair for her to think you love her only to find out you don't see a future with her. On the other hand if you both have this bond to each other you have to ensure there isn't something really there. If it something she's doing that reminds you why yiu broke up ensure its not something that she only dies with you eg acting out cause she's angry at how you treated her doing your previous relationship... I seem to be going through something similar I care about my ex but I know in behaving in a way that's causing him upset now that we are communicating again only cause I still hold a lot of resentment to how he behaved when we were together and I want him to step up his game if he's serioys but if he's still about playing games and shut don't lead me on no matter how difficult it is for him to let me go.

  • Hahaha that's called karma and you deserve every bit of it:)

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    • Karma is a force good or bad that will eventually happen to everyone whether their actions were good or not. My name used to be Holddoorsopen Niceguy Chumpson the 3rd and that led no where trust me so I changed it to Smash Pussington and my life has been full of open doors and oppertunities. My farts also always smell like lavender now.

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    • You're right! ALL men deserve the entitlement to be treated like shit. It's 2014 men have equal rights too. If I want to wear a itty bitty polkadot bikini to the beach I should be able to without being harassed. #Equality

    • I *hate* men.

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