ExGF says she "needs space" and realized she's "too immature" after 2 years?

Ok so I was dating my girlfriend for 2 years. Amazing years where we both agreed we had found the one. We planned weddings and homes and vacations. Our whole future. All the time.

Recently this past month things got rocky. She said she felt like I was distancing myself and then that I was too consumed by her. Very frustrating

Ultimately she ends up telling me she thinks I need to move home (1.5hours away) because she keeps having these new doubts she can't shake. I got upset with how someone could just change how they feel so abruptly. We got into a fight and broke up. No harsh words exchanged.

A few days later I returned to her house to get my stuff. We acted like nothing was wrong. Watched a movie had sex and got dinner. She kissed me goodbye in the morning and left. I saw her 1 more time since then to explain that I understand that we got too wrapped up and moved too fast. But I still love her. She agreed. I kisses her goodnight and left

It's now been a month and she says not much has changed. We haven't talked but once and she says she's happy and doesn't want the future we had talked about everyday for years "anytime soon". She says she's realized how young she is (we are both 23)

However we both start graduate school in the same area in May. So she not immature she gonna be on her way to nursing school in no time. Where are these doubts coming from? Maybe her new friends she made this past month? We fought before because I didn't like them cause they are kinda unmotivated I felt. Always just want the best for her

My question is how do I get this girl back or what do I do. I've had girls throw themselves at me since breaking up but all I want is her.

She still follows me on social media but we haven't talked. Getting the last of my stuff this week but she said she's gonna try and be out of the house.

She's a great girl and not a cheater. So what do I do to win her back? Just give it time and hope for the best?
Update: we were living together in her parents house. Both working saving for school
Also side note: why not stick out the relationship if I'm willing to give her all the space she needs? She says it is all about finding herself and not at all about other guys so what gives. I'm willing to support that


Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't. She clearly stated she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. Maybe later in life if it's meant to be. She doesn't feel ready to be tied down.

    • But how do you feel that way for 2 years and that ups and vanishes? Specially since we are clearly capable of having great times together still

    • She probably still feels the way she feels for you. It doesn't change the facts of what she sees and knows to be true. If you think two years is a long time just be happy it hasn't been 12 when she realized she don't live enough and you already have these things and watch it all fall to pieces. It sadly happens everyday.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Same story here brotha. Was with my girl for 2 1/2 years. She met a new group of friends that were honestly pretty un motivated. Did drugs/ partied a lot. My girlfriend was so excited to have new friends. I never said I didn't like her new friends, hung out with them a few times.

    Basically she broke up with me to go party and do drugs. Long story short, she got addicted to drugs and dropped out of school. In my honest opinion dude leave her be. It's the new fresh feeling of her new friends that are making you seem old/ probably new guys she's hanging out with. She's gonna go do her thing/ make her own mistakes and you have to let her. She'll come back if you guys are meant to be, could be 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 years from now. But TRUST me, if she is saying she needs space to grow up, she really does need it.

    Take it from me, my girl came back 2 years later and wanted to get back together with me after exclaiming she made a huge mistake.


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What Girls Said 1

  • Sorry to break this to you, but she sounds like she's upset she didn't get to slut it up before settling down. It really sounds like she feels she didn't date enough different guys and felt that she planned her future too soon.

    Unfortunately, a lot of women have these regrets (as do men). They feel a bit jealous of their party friends, who had a wild social life before settling down. That's the vibe I'm getting from your girl. Cold feet and all that shit.

    My advice is: don't be her plan b. Don't allow her for a second to think you'll be there for her, once she's done with her unfinished business. She might not slut it up, per se, but she may want to seriously date a few more guys before getting married and having a family and you're offering her a serious future too soon.

    Don't let her think she can come back to you. She will not value you as a person, just a convenient place to come back to. It will hurt like hell, but you need to let her go.

    She stamped on your heart, don't ever give people like that a second chance.


What Guys Said 0

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