I'm 25, been "broken up" with 24 yo gf of 1 year for 3 weeks now. Still love her, but must find out if I should still fight for her or move on?

I'm a 25 y. o guy & my 24 y. o. GF of a year & I broke up 3 weeks ago. We broke up on good terms for no serious reasons, but kind of out of nowhere. We "broke up" once before for 2 weeks b/c I had been on edge & not myself for a bit due to stress from parent's divorce & she was mad about my persistent tardiness, but the thought of losing her snapped me out of the funk & we reconciled. This time, we had been bickering for the past 2-3 days & she felt even though I improved on the tardiness, it wasn't perfect & was mad at me over a few recent small things. We have a great relationship, never fight (occasional bicker) no jealousy, we are best friends, have the best conversations & attraction is not an issue. I am her 1st real serious BF & her 1st love & I feel although I have room to mature & correct some mistakes that she has unrealistic expectations sometimes & doesn't fully appreciate just how good she has it as well as not admitting to her own mistakes. I treat her like gold, always want to spend time with her & make her feel important & beautiful. We have a lot of fun together & been through a lot, we love being homebodies & can truly be ourselves together. I have dated some beautiful girls in the past, & looks wise although to others she may not be as attractive as them, to me she is the most beautiful girl I've known b/c I see all of her when I look at her & I love who she is as a person, she's my dream girl & makes me a better man. The first 2 weeks we did the no contact & then had great talks for hours on end all weekend. BUT, she is still hot & cold as well as hesitant I sense. I suggested us meeting up for coffee or dinner to see if we still have that same spark/connection & if its not there anymore we'll cease contact & go sep ways b/c I dont wanna be stuck in limbo & need to move on if there's nothing to fight for anymore. I'm taking this really hard & I want to know if thats a good idea & whats the best course of action I should take at this point?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If u still love her and u seriously want her into ur life and she still have no bf I think u should back her to ur life and fix everything went wrong as u said u broke with no serious pro so I think u still have chance to fix ur wrongs y not invite her for a dinner and tell her whats in ur heart for her keep it romantic i don know if a gift will make her feel happy but a ring or necklace would be good idea also but keep in mind maby she will refuse but do ur best to bring her back if this is the girl which u want spend ur life with do ur best to bring her back or if she just a regular girl I think it's not worth to try so move on

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    • Good advice for the most part, a gift might come across as a little over the top or desperate, but I def agree that taking her out for a nice dinner or even just a casual coffee & walk would be the best option that way I can say I tried at least b/c I do think she's worth it & if all fails & the spark aren't there anymore then I'll have no regrets & move on knowing at least I didn't hold anything back & gave it my all. Just hate being so confused by her, yesterday she's distant & when we finally did talk at night she talked about maybe cutting off contact for a bit & wasn't exactly in the mood to have a convo as the little time we did talk i did most of it. Today, exact opposite, I didn't contact her all day & she texts me & when I didn't respond she calls me acting as if everything is normal, talking about her day & giggling. Then asks me when I want to go see Interstellar w/ her. I wanted to ask if she's bipolar as I wish shed make up her mind & stick with it b/c Im Confused as hell!

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What Girls Said 1

  • It's best to move on.. not easy at first but better start moving forward than getting stuck. Relationship doesn't count how many years you've been together coz if it is meant to be broken, it will.. From what you said, you are stressed out because of your parents divorce. If she loves you enough, she would be the first person who's able to understand your situation not by the thought of getting mad at you coz of your tardiness.

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    • I agree 100%, she was supportive at 1st then it almost seemed like she was taking offense/ personal that I wasn't completely myself & couldn't give her my undivided attention every. About 6 weeks ago I found my Dad in his room minutes away from death lying in his own blood after a heart attack & had to be revived at hospital & in ICU for 2 weeks & as much as she was trying to be supportive & be there for me, she told me the night it happened that "she was worried that this was going to stress me out & lead to me not being myself again & effect our relationship." Like seriously wtf, my Dad could die any moment & now I have to worry about how to grieve the way she wants so it doesn't affect her? Like I said, we're great 98% of the time, great girl, but very naive with unrealistic expectations & takes everything so personally as a direct attack. This isn't my 1st rodeo I've dealt with tough breakups b4, just don't want to have any regrets someday by moving on too soon ya know? Thanks!

    • Sorry to hear that.. I agree from what you said that it's too soon to move on.. here's the thing, you can still try and talk to her to clarify things between you two. If your relationship would still work out and want to try it again. But if she don't want to make it a try and just want to separate ways.. i think that's the time that you should move on. It's not worth fighting if she already made up her mind to really end the relationship..

What Guys Said 2

  • Let me just say this, if you really do feel like you two had a good thing, one year is a lot to walk away from. If it was good, but of course had it's share of bumps, it's worth it to always try and work things out. Life's too short to not enjoy it with someone you love you know?

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  • move on man

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