Relationship over or still hope?

I met a girl earlier in the summer and we hit it off right away and everything was going great. She also has a young child and started school back in September. This is where the stress for her has been building up. Her talking about anxiety and what not, but I was there to coach her through it all, help her with homework and it seemed to go well.

During the course of the 4-5 months we've been together, she's had some slight behavior where she showed happiness to me and close family but would hide it others and friends (especially on Facebook where she'd take down a pic of us that everyone loved). Baby daddy issues maybe? She said he was a jealous person and scared of him. She is in contact with his family still and hides the fact that she is with me. She also talks about him from time to time and even her previous ex before me. She's also still close friends with his family.

We've had some small nonsense bickering and I've called her out on some of her behavior to talk about it but she'd get annoyed about it, but we'd work it out, well I thought we did.

Now, a few days ago, I sent her a good morning text (like I always did) saying how I was lucky to have her (and she's said it before and all that sweet stuff) but then 6 hours later, she finally followed up by saying she felt lost, felt like she couldn't be or feel in love like she should, especially with a great guy (her words) and also said she was emotionally drained. She wanted time to think it over and I was upset and tried to reason but if she's emotionally drained is it worth it to wait or move on? It's a weird situation. I told her to take the time she needed but I wasn't going to wait around forever and her last response was "Ok :(" and that was the end of it. Haven't heard from her since. This sucks. I've done a lot to help that girl and be there for her.

What should I do in this situation? Is it doomed or can she recover?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think even though she's acting all weak and drained, her past is making her cautious. She is definitely testing you. Have patience, and stay cool and supportive. She will eventually recover, I'm sure :)

    • Well, she did decide to contact me but it wasn't to talk about us, it was just to more less bash my friends for no apparent reason so I told her that it wasn't cool and that this was about us and not them, but she hasn't said anything since. I don't get why she would want to test me like that though. The whole thing was done over text and the whole "I'm not able to be/feel in love like I should be" is a little too weird for me.

    • Whatever it is, even if you decide to break up, before actually doing that, please give a decent amount of time of at least 1 month, during which time ensure you follow the No Contact rule. Don't decide anything in a huff. Time does create opportunities. At the end of that period, initiate contact with her (if she doesn't do it herself), and speak to her without any conflict. Even if she provokes you, don't show any agitation.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I am in the same situration mate.
    Only with me there is no kid. But school, a new job and her new sports team (she is a pro athlete)...

    I have backed away to give her time and space... Its been 2 months now. She seems happy on facebook, an she is enjoying her time with her friends. But this like your ex: There is simply no room for feelings in her head.

    I would stay away if I was you. Use this time to better yourself and enjoy your life. She will want to be part of it again...

    • It's just been rough. It's been a day no texting or what not and it's driving me insane. I haven't seen her since Tuesday. We don't see each other much during the week, mostly the weekend so it just came as a shock as she's one who wants all the attention, so I don't know. Should I try in a few days sending her a quick text or just not bother until she does?

    • Any new from you? How is it going?

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • she's not ready for a new relationship. i guess there are too many things going in in her life right now and she wants to rather focus on the well being of her kid. you should let it go. for your and her sake

    • Well she is always tired and stressed about everything in life and I guess me being around, adds more to it. But her telling me what she did just makes me feel like it was all a waste of time. I don't want something like this in my life. I know what you're saying though. Thanks!

What Guys Said 1

  • Dude, I'm in the same situation. Single mom, sweet, really great girl. Super sweet. Hung out with her three times and it looked as if it were going to progress into a relationship, and then, without warning, she won't text back, call, anything. No explanation. Lost her job and started hanging out with the wrong crowd, whom I strongly suspect has something to do with the no contact bullshit. All you can do is what I did. Put the ball in her court. Let her contact you.

    • I hear ya man. It just come out of nowhere for me, but probably something that was building up. Who knows. Everything seemed fine like I said. She had a few nights out with the girls and then all of a sudden she's telling me this over text.

    • Well, it could be any number of reasons why she's acting this way. Like you, my gal pal had a kid, and I was good to her and then nothing. But all you can do is all you can do. Just see what happens. Good luck.

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