How can I stop feeling so hurt and angry?

I can't stop feeling so hurt and angry at what this guy has done to me... I did so much for him and he really messed with my head and screwed me over. I'm so angry because I did nothing to deserve this. It happened months ago and I still can't seem to get over it. I just want to be happy...

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's painful at first but it does get better. First off, you screwed up getting involved with a guy that had all of that drama going on in the first place. Second, he's a stupid dick for abliging you when he wasn't over his own shit. You're loveable, worthy of love, and there's nothing wrong with you. Just take some time and space, and work on yourself. This situation sucks, but remember that there was no divorce, no mortgage, and no kids involved. It could have been worse... much worse. Obviously he's not happy, and has no business being in a relationship in the first place. You seem like a sweetheart and you can do much better. But, don't sit here and say "I can't trust men, when you made the conscious choice to go out with a train wreck.

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    • Yes, I agree. He did have two kids with his ex too, so that made things even harder. The kids really liked me though, so it's like I was losing them too. I was aware of the crap he was going through, but he made me feel like he wanted me and I was the one, so it made it hard to walk away when I got nervous. I should have though. The heart is so strong and does some stupid things sometimes. Thank you for your words.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Have you tried talking with him? I know you are angry with him, but trust me talking will help because it gives you closure. And you don't have to talk all the time. I mean just have one long honest conversation with him about what he did, why he did it, how you feel now, and how it made you feel when he did what he did. This does a great deal for you and helps you forgive him and move past it. Forgiving doesn't mean being friends, it just means letting it go and moving forward with your life. Trust me, it helps.

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    • I haven't tried to talk to him because I feel like it will show him I'm not over him (which I am; I'm just angry at him). I don't want him to think I'm hurt because it'll make him have the control and power.

    • Yeah that's true and I understand that. With my ex in 9th grade, it took me 2 years to get over what he did to me. I was just finally able to talk to him again in June. I didn't tell him I was hurt, we just had a conversation and caught up. I haven't talked to him since the third week of June which I am okay with. But talking to him helped me to finally get past what he did and allowed me to move forward with my life without any bondage. And I was over him completely a year before hand, I was just really upset still. But I totally understand what you are saying and how you feel

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • There is no set time to get over someone who has treated you badly or after you've endured a bad experience. You'll move on when you're ready to do so I guess. A girl screwed me over and it took two-and-a-half years for the anger, bitterness, frustration and the resent to subside and ease away into the green and blues.

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  • Look up what love is. It is a bonding urge that is created when the brain releases chemicals. Love is a delusional state that is created by a drug dependancy. Once you understand that love is a delusional crock of shit, you may find it easier to cope.
    Sometimes people do not recover. When I was 21 a girl broke my heart so badly that it left me incapable of romantic love. I am 56 now and the folder titled 'romantic love' is still absent from the operating system.

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    • I really think it'll be hard for me to truly love and trust a man. I've been damaged by them so much, that I really don't want to deal with it again.

  • Given you don't seem to be forthcoming with what happened... odds are you deserved it.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I think its normal to go through the angry phase for a bit, I was pretty angry as well sometimes I think about what he did to me I still cry, but I cry because I feel sorry for myself not because I want him back. I say just focus on all the ways that your life is better and enriched now that you don't have him to drag you down and make sure you do stuff to improve your life and yourself... try to focus on YOUR future, instead of his past.

    Live a wonderful and happy life, that is the best revenge.

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