Was I wrong? Am I the only one?

I was with this girl for three years, i always made her a priority yet whenever it came to me, i was always second rate. I would constantly try to make her happy without overdoing it. Everything was good up until my parents separated, i was juggling a relationship, hobbies, friends, and a depressed father who had no interest in helping himself. After that i became very depressed, she got very distant from me, never bringing up a conversation. Always expecting me to come through for her or the relationship.. Never trusting me with anyone else especially when they were trying to help me. The end result was a break, then ultimately a break-up. I never got an answer to what i did wrong, i cut off all communication 5 months ago in an attempt to forget. Still feeling unsure, unhappy and broken. Anyone else have experience with this? Thought? Ideas? Experience? Anything would be great thanks.


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13

Most Helpful Girl

  • She was a bad girlfriend for not understanding that you were going through a hard time and reaching out to you more instead of expecting you to help her as you did when things were going bad.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • " i always made her a priority "

    Then yes, you were wrong.

    "I would constantly try to make her happy"

    Also wrong.

    "I never got an answer to what i did wrong,"

    Well, you did now.
    A relationship is supposed to be between equals. Not a one sided support system for the female.
    You made yourself into that, and then wondered why it wasn't a relationship.
    You made yourself into that, and she got used to it, and then got pissed off when you weren't there in your usual role.

    In the future, don't do that. Don't be that.

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    • I don't agree with this completely. In many cases you first notice that a relationship isn't working when problems occur. I have made the same "mistake" before too. I was giving too much and receiving nothing. I learned of it to be more cautious for girls who don't deserve it, but I would certainly do the same again for a girl who does deserve it. It makes the relationship much more fruitfull. Like I said before, the behaviour was not wrong, but you did it for the wrong girl. Of course a relationship has to be between equals, and shouldn't be one-way-trafic.

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 2

  • It happens. Some girls just don't know how to appreciate a good guy. You try to do everything for her, but when you need help or support yourself, they are far away. I'd say try to get over it, and try to find a girl who appreciates your attention and care. I believe you didn't do anything wrong, you just did it for the wrong person.

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  • i agree with the initial anonymous post. not that you shouldn't be selfless in a relationship but if you aren't getting the same back you are putting yourself into a bad position

    no you didn't necessarily do anything wrong, the problem it seems to me is that you accepted a role as essentially the care giver and didn't get much back. so when you stopped being able to be a care giver she was suddenly unable to cope with the relationship... It is sort of like welfare and government handouts. many become reliant on welfare to get through their every aspect of life. if those handouts were suddenly reduced or taken away the person would be unable to survive.

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