Girlfriend Cheated on me and still won't tell the truth, frankly just want answers/opinions?

Known this girl for while. Dated in Highschool 4 years ago, broke up after couple months, and been friends ever since. I knew I loved her in high school but figured we were young. Any way ran into each other over this past summer, had a nice summer fling, I knew I wanted to date her, but she was the first to ask what we were. Said it had been"stressing her out". I told her I wanted to date and we talked about it (we go to different colleges 3 hours apart). We decided we should. She said I love you first and everything was great. 4 weeks after being apart I found out she cheated on me the week earlier (on week3). She was drunk but she told people she didn't want to be dating me and she slept with someone that night. I did not know this for a WEEK. She called me, told me she loved me actually more than normal that week, but then stopped txting me and acted like distance was getting to her. I found out, Confronted her she lied. Did not call or text me for two days, When she did tx me, she just denied the whole thing, I told her how and why I knew angrily but no names or anything still respectful. Still denied it. Sent her a good bye and then a Week later she sent me a letter, still denying it and trying to end on a good note. I had her call me and I explained in DETAIL how I found out and very nicely and respectfully. She still denied it, but admitted to staying the night at his house cause she was drunk. I have text from the guy saying they hooked up as well as eye witnesses. She knows that! why does she lie? how could she just cut me off like that (haven't talked in 3 weeks)? why would she do something like this so early? Im just lost, there has to be a reason but I can't see any. I obviously can't ask her. Thanks for reading just kinda want your opinions she never seemed like this type of girl to anyone, me, my friends (who knew her), even some of her friends were dumbfounded. Were 21, we both talked about how its kinda serious to be in a relationship now.

Updates:
P. S. I wrote her a letter basically saying, I hope you still text me and let me know how your doing, but at same time learned a lesson from thing, and will be able to tell me what happened one day. I want to send it because I still think about her everyday and I would just like to. I don't want to send it because I feel like it might be pointless. I don't care what others think to be honest (as in if they call me weak) that means nothing to me. Let me know what you think. yay or neh?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • well here are my thoughts and im sorry if this is offensive, but she is two things. 1 a liar and 2 a cheater. everything may have seemed nice, but in the long run that is not someone who will make you happy. especially if she shuts you out when you find out instead of accepting responsibility. thats just immature. so you will just have to sit tight and let time heal this particular wound. you are better off without her. all the best

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    • I accidentally did the down thing on yours so, Ima find a way to change that first off. Mybad, but thank you I am with you, just kinda wanted her to tell me the truth. I have decided I have to let her go but still I did love her so I do care about her no matter what. Thank you for your help

    • haha thats alright man, now we just need to find the girl who down voted me :') thats no problem and yeah its gonna be tough but she doesn't sound anywhere near what girlfriend material should be. message me if you wanna talk more :)

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What Girls Said 1

  • If you love her, than tell her that you love her and that if she loves you in return than she needs to tell you the truth. Even if the truth hurts to the bone, it makes her one less thing considering she is already a cheater. People appreciate and deserve the truth. If you want to give her a chance, than that is completely up to you, nobody can make that choice for you. Don't approach her in a harsh manner because most likely, she is lying to you because she is afraid of how you'll react. She obviously knows what she did was wrong and you know so the least that she can do is come clean with the whole truth. Once she comes clean with the whole truth and you feel in your heart that it makes sense and she isn't lying than it gives you a stepping stone to making a decision about leaving or staying. Good luck.

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    • Unfortunately, I have strong beliefs about cheating and lying. I have to leave but will always care about her and just want the truth, for some reason that is the worst part about this whole thing. I know it happened. I made that obvious.

    • That's completely your choice. Good luck! I hope you'll be happier without the added stress.

What Guys Said 1

  • okay i got the whole idea but , what if she is honest with u and she didn't have sex or anything with that guy that night?
    what if that guy is just messing with u , to separate u apart?
    My advice You have to meet her up and talk with her only then u can decide whether she is a liar and cheater or she is telling the truth , she was ur GF for 4 years so u know well when she is telling the truth or lie.
    eventually try to have a relation with someone in ur college , long distance relationships always end with cheating.

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    • The guy doesn't know me, he told his roommates and my very good friends know his roommates. So I know she slept with him. If there's no doubt in my friends minds there's none in mine. They know how I feel about this girl too so they aren't just trying to make me drop her. Appreciate the help tho.

    • so just leave her and forget about her , move on man
      I hope u find the one who really appreciate u

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