Boyfriend told me he's not ready for a serious relationship?

my boyfriend told me yesterday he's not ready yet for a serious relationship knowing that i want one.. so i snapped and told him that i would break it off anyways " which i dont " , then told him that i will block him n he responded with ok sorry.
I couldnt block him and i had some thoughts about resuming the relationship until he's ready to get serious. So the next day i told him that i dont want a serious relationship either.. after couple of mins i felt like am throwing my self at him so i added " anyways its done " .. and honestly i kinna wanted him to stop me from leaving after saying that be he didn't he just replied " ok " ..
I blocked him now but still confused about it?

" the relationship lasted 2 months and we love each other he spilled the L word 2 weeks ago ! So i don't know wut got into him "

What should i do?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Just because he said the L-Word doesn't mean he actually meant it as something special and maybe he's not ready for a serious relationship yet. maybe he's too scared, maybe he's got another girl as well and doesn't no who to decide from, maybe he doesn't like to be not single, maybe he's not too sure if he's ready too commit to you just yet who really knows to be honest.

    Anyways I tell you this is something my girlfriend always done and it's something you need to stop doing to guys it's fucking stupid is trying to get a reaction out of us to try to stop you from leaving, it's so immature that a lot of guys just know the girl is trying to get a reaction and piss us off or get us to stop them so we just don't even bother just okay than you're a grown woman do whatever you want I ain't going to stop you. So might explain why he said okay and that's it.

    I don't know what you really want to do, you blocked him so I am assuming your relationship is strictly via phone/internet? Because if you know where each other live why not speak in person about these things instead of on the phone or internet which just causes more problems than anything.

    Anyways if you want to be with him than unblock him and see if he will try talking to you or calling you or wanting to meet or something if not than clearly he doesn't care about you at all let alone 'love' you. If he doesn't talk too you than yeah I would just realize he's likely only into you for one thing and one thing only and that's pleasing himself and that's it and since you want a serious relationship it might be better to move on than have more problems down the road.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well firstly... as much as this sucks to hear he can't love you that much if he doesn't want a relationship with you. That's the exact opposite of what you do when you love someone. What probably happened is he simply lost his feelings along the way and realized it's not meant to be. I'm sorry that it had to happen but just know that it will take a few wrong guys to find the right one for you. Also never ever compromise your feelings. Switching from wanting a relationship with someone to then crawling back and saying you don't want it anymore in order to keep this person is bad really bad. It can come off as looking like you are a bit desperate and not willing to stand your ground which can scare guys away. Work on your self esteem and never compromise. If you want someone, don't settle for less. You kinda deserve someone who wants you for real and who is interested in being with you and only you, don't you think?

    • Thank you i needed to hear this

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • 2 months is nothing. How often did you guys have sex?

  • Your doing the right thing if you stick with it longer than just a week


What Girls Said 5

  • Instead of 'Blocking him,' you should have let be what was to Be when he told you he didn't want to be Anything heavy right now. You came back the next day and started in again with your own claws extended and with him probably not wanting to get into a head lock with you, he made lite of it... this is obviously his natural nature you have found out.
    You both need to talk it out some more. I see that on his end he was this Honest John in telling you what he wanted and Didn't want, however, with you 'Blocking,' this is going to go down a beaten path where he may just have second thoughts of being with you now.
    You both need to talk this out... You are still in the newbie stages of being in this relationship. During this period, things normally have to be ironed out and a Compromise has to be made.
    It can go on like this.. it's a War of the Roses and I see the battle here has just begun.
    If he has told you he 'loves' you, then you both must have talked something out. He wants you in his life, doesn't want to lose you or both of you and he has admitted feelings. However, this doesn't mean he wants to be hooked at the hip right now, so go slow with his flow.
    Good luck. xx

  • Maybe it's just me, but I don't see how anyone can 'love' someone in a 2 month relationship. As for the 'l' word, so, it's just a word and it can get tossed around without any significant meaning attached to it.

    He told you he didn't want a serious relationship, you got pissy then dumped him. Now you're angry that he didn't say stay when you walked away.

    Well, what do you expect?

    He told you he didn't want commitment on a serious level, you broke up with him, and in your mind made demands of what you wanted him to do, and he didn't do it, because; 1.) Men aren't mind readers, 2.) You told him the opposite of what you want, 3.) He doesn't want a serious relationship.

    So, what you can do.
    1.) Tell him how you actually feel, but don't expect anything.
    2.) Move on.

    • "1.) Men aren't mind readers, 2.) You told him the opposite of what you want" Gotta agree with that lol and it's really dumb as hell when girls tell us the exact opposite because it leaves us thinking wtf?

  • Some guys don't know what kind of relationship they want. Maybe he doesn't know what kind of relationship he wants, or how to commit in a relationship or how to do his part. Maybe he isn't ready for a serious relationship. And you say the relationship lasted for 2 months, did you guys even get to sit down and get to know each other? And you can't make someone love you either. Just because he said the L words doesn't mean he actually meant it. Guys say all kinds of things to bribe women with sweet words but they don't really mean it. I don't think he knows what he wants, maybe he lost feelings for you, who knows. But don't let it tear you down. You don't need to waste your time trying to understand someone. If he doesn't have feelings for you then he doesn't. You can't make him have feelings for you. I'm sure in your future that you will find someone that wants a serious relationship just as much as you do.

  • You cannot force someone to do something they don't want to do.

    Well people can say that casually but even if they don't really mean it.

  • did you have sex with him before he said the L word? or did he say it because he thought it'll make you have sex with him?


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