Ex left me pregnant with two kids after his brain injury. will he ever come back?

My ex has been gone now for two months, he was in a bike accident fractured his skull. She he came home three days later he told my mom everyone that he had been at a strip club that night. But me he didn't tell just kept hiding it. I don't know y he would tell everyone. Anyway my sister in law ended up telling me. Which I don't think was right. I over reacted and told him to go to his moms. I needed breathing room, he thought I kicked him out. When I called him to come bad home. He said no, that he was different now. That he was changed, that I couldn't make him come home. I couldn't make him feel the same. Everytime we talk he tells me this and I sometimes am not even asking him to come home. Could he be unsure that I can change his mind. Or does he like the begging? Before his accident he was such a family guy. Loved me and his kids, now he only matters no one else's feelings. All I want us my family back. But everything has fallin apart. I know a lot of u r gonna say I am insecure about the strip club. thats not the thing. I don't know y he hid it, I trusted him, what hurt is that he felt he had to lie.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Why did he feel the need to hide going to the strip club from you?

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    • Idk, maybe he thought I would get upset. Because I am pregnant. But I honestly wouldn't have minded. He went with his dad and know he wouldn't have done anything. I was even thinking that night, he's probably at a strip club or something and I laughed it off. It hurts that he thinks I didn't trust him, I mean I didn't even call him that night to spy on him or anything. Cause I trusted him there was no need to.

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    • And I've asked his mom what he tells her, she said that he said he no longer wants to be with me. That maybe I need to give him space, I honestly have not done the 30 day no contact. I've been desperately trying something new everyday. But I know that's not the best choice.

    • Yeah, unfortunately it appears his mind is made up in this situation. I'm sorry.

Most Helpful Girl

  • It's very sad, but I've heard numerous stories of people having head injuries and when they recover they're a different person.
    One man, happily married with kids for years who was loyal and devoted, turned into a serial cheat. It happens. Head injuries, bad ones especially, have been known to change people.

    I knew one guy. He had a head injury and temporary memory loss from it. When he recovered and got his memory back, he'd changed. He was my exes best friend, and he was a really good guy with a big heart. But he turned really mean and my ex isn't friends with him now because he drove everybody away.

    Maybe you could speak to the doctors he had, and find out if this type of thing is possible with the injury he sustained?

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    • Yes it is possible, they have personality changes. I've read that to a lot of people its like the old person died and a new one was born. I don't know this person anymore he really I different. It just hurts we were together for 6 yrs. Now he is taking me to court to fight for our children. Something he said he would never do.

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    • Yes I've tried talking to his mom, and she don't want to help. His sister I think is only using him for his money, to pay for her to go places. So she don't want to help either she has ignored my test and phone calls. His uncle said to give him time. And so did his dad, do some guys take longer than two months to realize they r messing up

    • Some guys take years to realize, some guys don't realize till its way too late and the woman he wronged is long gone.
      If he promised he would never take you to court for the kids, did you say you would give him access without court? If so, is he seeing them now? If not, maybe you should. I know this sounds bad like using the kids to get to speak him, but maybe when he sees them you can use the opportunity to speak to him. You can even call him and invite him somewhere with you and the kids so he can remember how nice his family life was.
      The only thing is though, if it's the head injury causing his behavior that he wasn't doing before, there's no telling how long it will last or if it will be forever. If it is that that's changed him, there may be no going back because he won't see things the way he used to see things, and then all you can do is hope he'll change and wait for that. He may never go back to normal though, so you may not even want to wait.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • Its probably from the brain injury. Somethimes things can cause them to think in a different way than before.

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    • Do you know if their way of thinking ever goes back to normal? I feel like I lost my best friend and this new person is someone I dont even know. At times I grow anxious cause I want to go see him so bad, but I can't. I want to call and hear his voice. But he just ignores me... i feel like he passed away.

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    • She I have showed up to his house randomly with the kids. I am guilty of using the kids just to see him. To see if i could try and convince him. But he tells me I told u not to come to my house. And I tell him ill stand away while u visit them and I do. I am guilty of not giving him his space and constantly texting him.

    • I don't know if he will ever be the same but its going to take time. Just take it day by day with him and see where things go from there.

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