Please help me I really need help to win my ex back?

My ex bf broke up with me due to trust issues him and I still see each other and he's recently started opening up about how i hurt him in the past and before he wld just shut down get angry and not want to talk about it. Yesterday he gave me a big hug as if he missed me and I'm slowly winning him back. I even asked him if he wld spend the holidays with me and before he wld say dnt even ask if we rnt together but this time he said will see... than i asked last time if he wld come over to my house and he said ok. he's told me before not to force it so I've backed off a bit and it seems to be working because he seems to put more effort as far as calling me and showing me a little bit of his emotions. However, if you felt you truly cared about a girl but she hurt you and lost her trust but still around.. how wld a person react if they still truly really cared? Like if he didn't really care would he get jealous? What? What are the examples to show me he still is thinking about us?
He gets jealous if he sees me talking to another guy that he feels might be better looking.. and we make it known we are both not talking to anybody else


Most Helpful Guy

  • you're allowed too talk to other peeps O_o
    were you flirting with them or something?
    if not... he needs to sort himself out

    • He saw it as if I was.. like one day a guy msgd me "hey beautiful and I just msgd ":)" to my ex he saw it as if I might enjoy the attn and felt I disrespected him by everytime he wld look through my phone he wld see the same guys msging me.. i have guy friends who liked me and they wld message me but I knew I didn't care for them because i had a bf the fault i had was telling them that if my bf ever saw my phone he might feel disrespected. I've learned my lesson but I swear I never cheated on him.. but according to my ex he says I did and if I cnt admit it till this day than I'm wrong and a coward for not admitting it

    • You need to put your guy friends in their place. You need to have boundaries. I did that with my guy friends who liked me and if they didn't stop flirting (which is what they're doing when they say hi beautiful) I'd delete them or tell them I wouldn't talk to them if they didn't respect my relationship. It worked. Trust is hard to give when you've been hurt. Put yourself of in his shoes. Men would rather be unloved than disrespected. They may not know it, but it's true. Respect is their main priority. Disrespect them and there's no coming back from that. Quit talking to your guy friends for a while and concentrate on your relationship. Ask yourself who's more important. If your friends are, then it's time to say goodbye to your man. He's insecure right now because he feels like he's not #1 in your mind. It has nothing to do with immaturity and everything to do with being human.

    • I totally understand exactly what your saying because it sounds like that's what he was trying to tell me but wld shut down and just tell me I hurt him, I liked the attn and I disrespected him by not telling them i had a bf. I understand now that I failed at not telling those guys I had a bf i just knew I wasn't interested in them so to me it wasn't necessary because on my end i had not interest. However, I now admit I messed up in not making my bf feel he was my #1.. i have asked myself what's imp and I love him very much.. it sucks because right now it seems we do everything a relationship does we just dnt have the title officially and I'm ok with it right now because i think he wants me to gain his trust without feeling a possibility of heartbreak again. . the fact it's been 4mths since we've broken up and haven't fully let go it tells me something must still be there on his end if not why waste his time on me, why hug me, why kiss me, why get jealous, why txt, etc

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What Guys Said 1

  • If he gets jealous over you talking to other guys or if he gets jealous when other guys compliment you, he's very immature.

    • That's how I saw it like if you had a gf who guys thought was attractive. . wldnt you be proud? At the end of the day she's with you and that's all that matters but I guess he just wanted me to show him more that I made it known to them right away I had a bf.. but I honestly was just being nice not really seeing anything wrong because on my end i wasn't doing anything to be hiding from but the guys intentions were to flirt and now I see it and admit I have failed but never did I cheat

What Girls Said 2

  • message me if you need to really talk.
    but he is your ex and even if you get back together, trust is like a mirror, u ll see the damn crack ones it is broken. so it will never be the same again ex and as you think or dream how it was before and how it can be if you get back together.
    i was in the same situation before, wanting to get back together with my ex and we didn't even have trust issues like u had. it just does not happens how you wish and by time passes, you think how foolish u were to get back together. i have lots of things to write about that but my suggestion to you is to put no contact.
    i mean no Facebook checking, no Twitter following, no news from him through friends and family, no nothing.. try to stay alone to deal with yourself and see if u can live better/worse without him. first two weeks maybe three will be hard. you will think you cannot live without him but just be patient. you ll see and be glad that he is your ex now 98% guarantee you. 2% as you really cannot live with him..

    anyways for your SPECIFIC CASE:
    even if you win him back, try to look at your relationship subjectively. he is control freak apparently and this is dysfunctional that he is jealous of everyone. you need some bad/good guy friends in your life so he can strive for being best for you when he sees them, and you need to appreciate him when u see the bad. kind of philosophical: good doesn't exist without bad. so this relationship really cannot work as long as you put so many effort to push it forward. but relationships are not present in our lives to makes us be in a challenging and unhappy situation all the time. we have enough troubles in our lives and they are in our lives to make us happy. why are you putting so much effort into something that kinda makes you unhappy through his jealousy?

    so i hope u got what i try to say with this wall of writing. if u try to talk, just inbox me.
    good luck with everything

  • How did you break his trust?

    • He saw convos on my phone with guy friends and he assumed I cheated on him when it was more the guys who mightve had an intention to get with me but I truly didn't care for them.. but I also didn't tell them I had a bf and he might consider it flirting so he took it as if I enjoyed the attn of a guy flirting with me while I had a bf.. which is absolutely not the case.. i was truly just being friendly but it got mistaken for more

    • Show All
    • Yeah I need to learn to put my foot down he knows ima be there for him. He just needs to trust me i hope he does one day

    • I know it's hard but you're respecting yourself and he will have to back off or commit. You'll see if he was in it for the fooling around or if he really wants to build trust again.

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