Okay, I was with my man since highschool. We got together our senior year when I was pregnant. He said that a baby didn't change anything and that he loved me. He was with me throughout the entire pregnancy and even cut my sons umbilical cord. My son even knows him as daddy. We had an amazing relationship. Of course we had our fair share of ups and downs, who doesn't? He was seriously my bestfriend. 3 years later, I'm now pregnant with his first, it was unplanned. He was shocked but eventually got excited. We started looking at houses and planning. In the beginning of my second trimester, we had the smallest fight and he left. His drinking got sooo terribly bad after the break up. We rarely talk. He randomly called me one night and we talked for 3 hours. It was nice. Like I had my bestfriend back. He told me he missed me and my son and that it was really hard for him sometimes. But yet, I haven't really talked to him since. What is going on with him? I'm so confused! It kills me because he was everything to me and now it's all gone. I have no idea wether to move on or let go. It's so hard. The thought of him not talking to me because maybe he's falling for someone else kills me. So many scenarios get made up in my head now and it drives me crazy.
Most Helpful Guy
In some ways it is less stressful to raise another persons kid. It may sound cruel or selfish, but you just aren't as emotionally invested as you are with your own kid. If something bad happens to the step child you would be concerned, but it isn't the same as if it is your own kid.
It sounds like now that he has his own kid on the way, he is freaking out, and not handling his emotions well. Maybe you could convince him to go to some sort of couples counseling with you. I don't think he is going to get better on his own. It doesn't sound like he is strong enough to handle the stress of having a child, buying a new house, and all the other problems life throws at him on his own. If you want to hold your family together you are going to need to help him overcome his issues. That means getting him to a point that he is willing to work on his issues.
You may also need some help communicating with him. I don't know if communication is partially to blame, but it could be. Men and women don't process everything the same. You could unknowingly be saying things to hurt his feelings without even realizing it. When you offer a helpful comment, he might hear it as you not believing in him. Right now that that may not be something he can deal with.0
- Show AllShow Less