Why is my ex being like this?
What Guys Said 2
He wants to have his cake and eat it too. His cake comes with three toppings.
1. Topping 1--Your continued interest in him, even as an ex from a distance. You're still keeping an interest in him, regardless of what kind of interest it is. Meaning, while he's 'not dating, not sleeping with anyone, etc.', he's indirectly letting you know he's still interested in you by pure virtue of asking the questions. Look how it's gotten you to ponder out loud. You may even ask him and he may even open up to you, talk nice, etc. And maybe, just maybe, y'all can be friends with benefits or get back together. I'm not suggesting you do this but I'm suggesting this is part of his deal.
2. Topping 2--He stays in control. He can take the next step depending on what steps you're taking. Meaning, if you were to tell him you were seeing someone, he could play it cool and state that he's met someone as well. Regardless, he's playing the concerned ex- and he's hoping you will find that flattering and eventually share with him outside of wanting to go to lunch as friends. However, if you don't take that step, it's nothing on him because he never asked.
I've had several clients on both sides of this coin in my years as a relationship coach. Men have the superman complex and never want to truly lose. Meanwhile, it's very common for women to maintain a general concern for an ex-even if it's pure. For you, being the frog you are, eventually it will drive you crazy to understand where he is in his head and he knows that.
It's very difficult to be friends with an ex. Feelings, memories and emotions get mixed up and it gets complicated.
What Girls Said 0
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