So I live with my ex boyfriend... We were together 3.5 years, we moved into our first apartment together 3 months ago, and he dumped me 2 months ago?

Originally he just wanted a break, but I was so upset that I made him choose between a break up or we work things out. He chose a break up because he wanted space and he felt pressured, like he was walking on glass around me. We moved to a new city so I didn't adjust well to being far from home, and it was a huge adjustment for me. I pushed him away because one of my friends (who was recently dumped) kept telling me he would leave me, or vice versa. I caused fights everyday, was a nagging bitch, etc. So anyways, he wanted time and space to figure out if he really wants to keep this going. Keep in mind we've wanted to stay together forever since earlyish on in our relationship. We both have the same goals in life (success, travel, family, etc), and over our relationship we grew closer.
BUT
He's been acting like my boyfriend? I don't get what he's doing. I told him once our leases is up I'm going to move out (for obvious reasons, living with your ex is very emotionally draining). But he wants to live together next year. He also has been sleeping in my bed, or I'll sleep in his, and he was holding my hand one night when we slept in the same bed (we haven't had sex since we broke up-just sleeping), but then I moved it because he's messing with me. I tried talking to him and he seems very eerie on trying again because he doesn't want to go back to fighting and then have to be officially done. If that makes sense. So he's been cuddly, tickling me, hugging me, complimenting me, asks me to go out on 'dates' (but we don't call them dates), he even asked me to go on a road trip with him next summer? I know some people say they've changed, but the last two months have been such a reality check. And I'm starting to lose hope on us. The longer you string someone on, the less they care. I really want to make us work...


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Technically he wanted a break and you forced either staying together or breakup. Despite him picking break up he is acting like your more on a break anyway by still wanting communication, sleeping together and doing little things like cuddly and tickling you. He still has feelings for you and wants to express them from time to time. I think personally he should have just tried to work it out and understand your frustration and your adjustment to a new city and living arrangements.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Tell him again, that you want to try again. But if he doesn't, then you're gone when the lease is up - but your number is open for him to call at anytime, if he changes his mind (or, until you meet someone who does want to date you).

    Definitely work on the psycho-issues; starting fights, nagging, etc. Make sure you're showing your good side, so he gets the picture that things won't be rotten and horrible if he gets back into a relationship with you.

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  • I think you both need a break AWAY from each other to clear your heads and think things through after you have experienced being apart.
    You may have started a permanent relationship when you were just too young..

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