Any advice for this complicated situation?

So I live with my ex boyfriend, we were together 3.5 years, we moved into our first apartment together 3 months ago, and he dumped me 2 months ago?
Originally he just wanted a break, but I was so upset that I made him choose between a break up or we work things out. He chose a break up because he wanted space and he felt pressured, like he was walking on glass around me. We moved to a new city so I didn't adjust well to being far from home, and it was a huge adjustment for me. I pushed him away because one of my friends (who was recently dumped) kept telling me he would leave me, or Id leave him. I caused fights everyday, was a nagging bitch, etc. So anyways, he wanted time and space to figure out if he really wants to keep this going. Keep in mind we've wanted to stay together forever since earlyish on in our relationship. We both have the same goals in life (success, travel, family, etc), and over our relationship we grew closer.
He's been acting like my boyfriend? I told him once our leases is up I'm going to move out (for obvious reasons, living with your ex is very emotionally draining). But he wants to live together next year. He also has been sleeping in my bed, or I'll sleep in his, and he was holding my hand one night when we slept in the same bed (we haven't had sex since we broke up-just sleeping), but then I moved it because he's messing with me. I tried talking to him and he seems very eerie on trying again because he doesn't want to go back to fighting and then have to be officially done. If that makes sense. So he's been cuddly, tickling me, hugging me, complimenting me, asks me to go out on 'dates' (but we don't call them dates), he even asked me to go on a road trip with him next summer? I know some people say they've changed, but the last two months have been such a reality check. And I'm starting to lose hope on us. The longer you string someone on, the less they care. I really want to make us work but this is so draining. I love him.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Rule #1: Never deal with ex's. Now you see. It's nothing but drama and confusion. He broke up with you. Move out as soon as you can and get rid of all the crap.

  • You aren't putting any limits on the relationship. he's basically getting just about everything he wants from you (companionship, attention, human contact) but outside of the bounds of having to be your boyfriend.

    • What do I do then?

    • Show All
    • You need to set a date in your head to move out. Tell him "I really want us to reconcile. But I cannot go on living like this with you. If you want us to try working things out, I want to start now. Otherwise I am moving out in January."

    • Okaay Ill do that

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