He still only remembers the bad from the relationship?

Okay so me and my guy friend were seeing each other, things started off slowly with both of us having bad past history with relationships so we took it slow. Things became great, we cared for each other a lot, and he told me I was the first girl in a long time he actually liked. And because of that he got scared and ended up pushing me away. (Came from his mouth after he ended things & was trying to get us back together.)

We got back together but with his friend dying at the age of 28 it took him into depression & he ended things again. We argued a lot these last couple of months & very heatedly. Yet he always was the one to come back.

2 weeks ago on the day of his friends funeral he reached out to me and apologised for being a knob. He asked if we could go for drinks. In that time he told me he hadn't been with anyone else since the split & how it was weird. We began having a laugh & he started to actually text me first again.

Then things turned sour out of no where. We got in another argument and he told me that the only memories he had of us was bad, that it was just arguments. He told me that it never felt right with me & there was no spark, or how he couldn't open up with me.

Yet before when talking about our relationship civilly before all the chaos, he told me that I know more then what friends of 15 years know. That I'm a big part of his life and that not being able to talk to me would be hard.

So my question is this, when will he remember the good again? Was he trying to salvage something last time by asking to go for drinks? And do I believe what he said to me when angry? Why does he keep coming back if all he associates me with is bad

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Most Helpful Guy

  • He has depression and that is a terrible thing but if he is in this mind set you really can not do much. He may come around he may not. I was exactly like him in my last relationship and besides the friend dying it was pretty close to this story. I always remembered the good though. But he is in depression nothing can be said or done if you really care about him then its going to be tough this will probably happen all through his life. Also yes if he reached out he probably really loves you a lot. You just have to take my word as someone with depression we can be giant ass holes and seem like we hate people and push them away but if we reach out on our good days it means you are one of the people we really care about. You have a tough choice miss.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • With his hot and cold boyish behavior, not to mention his problem child pattern of being Here today, gone tomorrow, I find him sporadic, unpredictable and emotionally unstable to boot.
    He has these weird mood swings that you cannot depend on and when he is angry, not angry, whatever his Mood is for that minute, you can't trust that any relationship you would bury yourself in with him would end Up to be A-------Grim Reaper romance down a beaten path.
    The minute things seem to be going good, he gets cold duck feet and flies south on you. And when the chips are down, he reaches out in one heartbeat, then all of a sudden out of the blue, he becomes someone who you don't even know.
    This mirror has two faces, sweetie... In a simple Nut shell, he is confused himself and you can't bank on anything he says or how his actions will be from day to day... he will drive you insane if you keep trying to figure this unlucky penny out.
    Good luck. xx

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What Guys Said 1

  • One bad time can outweigh a thousand Good-times.

    Often people with depression or trust issues often take this concept to heart.

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