Please help my heart to follow my brain by telling me if I'm right in my intuition, what to do of this breakup?

Ok so, I have a hard time to move on because I still have this false hope inside of me no matter how hard I try to reason with myself.

I only dated a little more than a month with this girl. Then suddenly, one day out of the blue, she TEXTED me she got accepted in an intensive training program outside of town and she "Didn't think she'll have time to date anyone" until she finishes in 6 months and "don't want to lead me on", that she was "so sorry". Well, I still believe she did get accepted and stuff, no problem here. But the way it happened, it left me with the idea that she likes me and that something could happen in the future. After 3 weeks of no contact, I tried to call her to make the situation more clear, I figured 3 weeks should have been enough for an adult discussion, but turns out she blocked my phone number.

Now I'm pretty sure her acceptance to the training program was a cope out, she never uttered the words "break up" or "it's over" clearly while doing the whole thing by text. She's a coward, and she gave me false hopes that are killing me because of that. If she seriously considered being in a relationship with me, she would have either found time for me, or at least discussed it a bit more. And she was too much of a coward to properly break up with me, but she will never get back with me. Blocking my phone number seems very immature to me, However I was immature myself and reached to her through a different number to ask for answers hoping for an easier closure, but alas no response. So I guess I should take her refusing to communicate with me for a "we'll never going to see each other again".

Am I right?


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What Girls Said 1

  • First of all, sorry that happened to you. When someone leaves without giving any reason or does drastic things like cut all contact it's hard to move forward. I think it's very selfish and closure is necessary. Sad thing is, we don't always get the closure we need or desire, reason being it could be a power thing on their part- withholding information that someone needs or they have no real reason why or excuse for doing it this disappearing. The latter is the "black hole" and by far the worst beause you're dealing with someone who does things for the sake of it who had no regard for other people feelings. I would say try to move forward. Try and forget her, looking for answers from someone like that is like chasing ghosts. Don't take it personally either, it's her not you- cliche but it's true. It takes a pretty messed up person to just disappear like that.

    I have never pulled a hoodini on a dude before so I don't know her intentions behind it all I can say is that she is a coward and she clearly can't face up to the responsibility of someone else's feelings.

    Just try your best to move on. She isn't worth it, never was, look at the situation and her for what it is- a WASTE of your precious time!!

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    • I had the feeling she was very inexperienced with relationships, and a few things led me to believe I might have been her first boyfriend. What this tells me, is that I can see why she broke up in such a disastrous way, she has literally no clue what she's doing. The other thing it tells me, and this one hurts but I guess it's good that I realize that now, maybe she chose me "by default", if I was her first, she has no standard and don't really know what she's looking for in a man. So I guess she never really liked me...

    • It's bit a reflection on you, people actions are determined by who they are, you're just. Victim of her choices. You shouldn't. Lame yourself. Thing is, you can ask a thousand questions and come to hundreds of different conclusions but you will never really know the real answer. You will drive yourself crazy searching for answers. Just leave her alone, don't let one bad "relationship" ruin you for someone else who will be open and worth your emotion.

    • So many typos there, sorry dude I'm sure you can figure it out!!

What Guys Said 1

  • Unfortunately, yes. She is not attracted to you. You need to find someone who wants to be with you. I know your hurt; just dwell on the shady shit she did to you and move on. If she contacts you in the future, I would highly recommend you stay away from her.

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    • I don't think she will ever contact me again, I know it's a good thing that she won't but this thought still hurts like hell. If by any random circumstances she contacts me, I hope I'll be strong enough to actually stay away from her as you said. That simple sentence "she is not attracted to you" sums it up perfectly, she told me she had fun spending time with me, but it's clear that she is more attracted to focusing on her training, or another guy for all I know.

    • It's best to not dwell on it, my friend.

    • Yes, that's what I'm telling myself again and again until my stupid heart accepts it, until I stop thinking about her the very second I wake up. Having someone else tell me the same actually helps, thanks. There is nothing I can do, I gave her all the power by contacting her again and of course I regret doing that. At least I'll try to learn from that mistake so that I don't torture myself as much after my next heartbreak...

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