This is a messed up situation, help me!

I live with my ex boyfriend of 3.5 years, we moved in together 3 months ago, and 2 months ago he broke up with me.
He broke up with me because I'm a bitch, and I'm so used to people leaving me that for the whole 3.5 years I pushed him away and caused fights (knowing I was doing so, I regret it now but I can't change the past). Since the break up I've changed, I can say that honestly. I have learned that not everyone will abandon me, to pick my battles, and to treat those I love with respect.
Anyways, he's been acting like were dating for the last month ish? He touches me (tickling, hugging, held my hand while we laid down, grabs my hips, etc.), is really sweet, goes out of his way to help me (opening doors for e. g.), he also asks me to go out on dates (we don't call them dates though) to the movies, dinner, etc. and he even asked me to go on a road trip with him next summer/live with him when our lease is up.
We originally planned on getting married in a couple years, we had our life planned out together. However now I don't know what to do.
I tried talking to him a couple weeks ago and it went like this:
me: “Can we try one more time?”
him: “I don’t know, we work better this way”
me: “Because I’ve learned that I can’t expect you to stick around if I treat you bad”
him: “ I don’t know, I’m sorry”
me: “Don’t be sorry, its my fault. I hope someday you change your mind, but for now I have to accept your answer”
him: “Even if we did get back together, we can’t jump into a relationship and expect us to last forever”
me: “Nothing is guaranteed, and I know that. We just need one last chance to try again”
Then our conversation died, but that was the first time he didn’t get angry and leave the room, it was also the first time i didn’t freak out and cry/get mad at him for not wanting to give me a second chance. Im happy I’m actually changing, and not just saying I am. So anyways, do you have any advice? :(


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What Guys Said 2

  • It sounds like he still cares a lot about you. He just needs some time to acknowledge your changes. Keep him close, but don't pester him about getting back together. Just be right there for him until he realizes that you really HAVE changed for the better. Time, time, time. That's all you need.

    • Time is so frustrating though ahaha. Thank you though.

    • Be patient, life is short, but it's not too short to rush anything. Patients is what he will notice most. It shows that you're not being selfish and he will appreciate it.

  • Look, any relationship is like a piece of cotton thread between two people. Fights and breakups are like stretching and breaking of the thread, and when they forget the fight and mend their relations, the KNOT (scar) still remains, it's always visible to both of you! And the thread is never the same, as it was before.

    In your case, there are so many knots in your thread (relationship) that all he sees are these knots, he can't look at it as a piece of single thread (pure love) anymore! Hence, he doesn't feel like holding the thread anymore. I highly doubt that he will ever get back with you ever! Sorry, but that's what I feel.

    by the way If in the long run, he REALLY feels that you have turned a new leaf, then he might give you a second chance.

    • Then why does he act like we're still together, initiate outings, and want to live together next year? I've changed, our relationship now is better than before. We're learning how to communicate better.

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